Judge, 1911-12-16 · page 7 of 24
Judge — December 16, 1911 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from Judge contains educational satire and light humor rather than political cartooning. The top cartoon "Nothing to Think With" is a simple visual joke: a schoolboy failed his exam because he literally cannot think—depicted as an empty-headed figure who cannot process information. The main content is a mock geography lesson about St. Louis by instructor Carleton G. Garretson. It's satirical pedagogy, mixing genuine facts (St. Louis's location, population of 687,029, large brewery) with absurdist commentary—noting the Mississippi River passes by "without stopping," that the city has been visited by "pestilences" including "the President," and sarcastically crediting breweries as the city's "famous product." The page also includes two poems: "His Dilemma" (a man cannot distinguish between three photographs of ex-girlfriends) and "Strange" (a joke about a landlord's selective memory regarding coal and boiler maintenance). Finally, there's a brief quip about theatrical "recall" being favored by people of all political beliefs—likely referencing the progressive-era recall election movement, here applied humorously to removing bad actors from stage.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
NOTHING TO THINK WITH. ** So you failed in your examination, Percy. How was that?"’ “Tean't think.” T. LOUIS, children, is in Missouri, but you should not blame this enter- prising city for that. It is going ahead in spite of its accident of birth. The Mississippi River passes right by one side of St. Louis without stopping, which seems strange, inasmuch as the city ranks fourth in population and is in every way a desirable stopping place. All the railroad trains stop there, how- ever, which is some compensation. The city is situated on a plain, 425 feet above the river and 1,270 miles above the Gulf of Mexico. The water supply comes from the river, which perhaps accounts for the fact that St. Louis con- tains the largest brewery in the world. You can reach the city by train, boat, telegraph, and telephone, and can also drop into it from an airship. The boats plying on the river first came to our notice many years ago, when a deckhand named Mark Twain discovered that they contained much humorous material. In these early days they attracted consid- erable attention on account of the many poker games and boiler explo- sions that took place on board. All of these historic events are now a thing of the past, but the river flows on still. Primary Lessons in Geography. St. Louis. CARLETON G. GARRETSON, Instructor. (The class should see how many rivers they can think of that are flowing on still.) In 1764 there was nothing but a trading post where St. Louis now stands. The old post is there yet and is used for hitching purposes and for displaying ad- vertisements. (Advertisements, chil- dren, are the things you see in the rear of this publication. If you did not see them, you would not see the publication. ) The city has been visited by fires, floods, epidemics, the President, muck-rakers, suffrage speakers, tornadoes, political corruption, and other pestilences; but it has weathered them all and is perhaps the better for its harrowing experiences. As the breweries manufacture beer a little faster than it is consumed, some of it is exported. This is one of the city’s telling methods of publicity. St. Louis suffered an exciting catastrophe seven years ago in the form of an ex- position, but it has recuperated bravely. Its population is at present 687,029. One-sixth of these are Germans. The remaining 572,524 1-6 are of various other nationalities, the 1-6 being born right here in the United States. For home work the class may review this lesson, and then put down the most famous product of St. Louis. We hope to have a full attendance at the next session. His Dilemma. By MINNA IRVING. 'HREE photographs upon the shelf Are standing in a row, All framed in silver filagree, Of girls I used to know, With dancing eyes, and smiling lips, And locks of blond or jet; I recollect their names were Maude, And Madge, and Violet. Now Vi, this morning, wrote to me A little note that said She much desired her picture back, Since she is soon to wed. I'd send it gladly, but, alas! I can’t, for I forget Which one is Maude, and which is Madge, And which is Violet! Strange. —‘‘Memory is strange.’’ “Yes; the landlord remem- bers to lay in cheap summer coal, but never remembers to have the boilers overhauled till after a cold snap.”” EMBERS of all political faiths favor the recall when applied to certain actors. comicbooks.com