Judge, 1911-12-02 · page 6 of 24
Judge — December 2, 1911 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains four separate satirical pieces typical of Judge's humor: 1. **Top cartoon**: A ship in rough seas. An elderly woman scolds an officer for "rank carelessness" as a wave swamps the deck—satirizing how passengers blame crew for circumstances beyond anyone's control. 2. **"His Question"**: Professor Twiggs cites statistics about insect damage costing farmers $700 million annually. An old codger interrupts with obvious logic: why don't farmers stop *buying* the pests? The joke mocks pseudo-intellectual lectures that overlook simple solutions. 3. **"Post-mortem"**: A New York child explains beating a Philadelphia boy who was reading "Jack the Giant Killer"—because the boy comes from Philadelphia (a rival city). This satirizes childish regional prejudices. 4. **"Mere Mediocrity"**: A man claims ordinariness; a friend argues he's accomplished too much to be ordinary. The punchline: his wife hasn't sought divorce in eleven years—equating marital stability with mediocrity. Dark humor about marriage. 5. **"Terrified Lady"**: A drowning woman asks if they'll sink; the captain says it depends on "the life you've led"—suggesting moral judgment determines survival.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
D. Conner tO Old lady (as unusually large sea sends everything to leeward) —"* Now, that, officer, was rank carelessness !"” His Question. 66 ACCORDING to a prominent scien- tist,”’ didactically began Professor Twiggs, ‘‘in- sect pests cost the farm- ers of this country fully seven hundred million dollars per year, and’’—— “Well, then,’’ inter- jected the Old Codger, who felt that it was his turn to be heard, whether he had anything to say or not, ‘why don’t the farmers quit buying the pests?” Post-mortem. Bystander—‘‘What did you lick him for—a great, big boy like you?” New York kid—-‘He was reading ‘Jack, the Giant Killer,’ and he comes from Philadel- phia.”” Terrified lady—"' Ob, ob! Captain—"' Can't say as to you, ma’am ; depends on the life you've led."” Captain, will we go down?" Mere Mediocrity. ss] USED to think I pos- sessed the artistic temperament—the sacred fire; but I was mistaken. I’m just one among the millions of common peo- ple.” “You have no right to say that! You have done some splendid things— things that you could not possibly have done if you had merely been one among the millions of common people.’’ “‘No, you’re mistaken. I’m just an ordinary, every-day man. Why, my wife has lived with me for eleven years with- out ever once thinking of getting a divorce!’’ LL WORK and no play will certainly pack the dollars away. comicbooks.com