Judge — November 11, 1911 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ee ¢- © & ® HE ever-beautiful Lillian Russell should live at Butte, Mont. The osculatory Richmond P. Hobson should take up his abode at Mt. Kissco, The talkati should try a Tenn. The members of the Cabinet should flourish at Council Bluffs, Ia. The leading lights in the tramp fra- ternity should try Hobo-ken, N. J. The cab drivers ought to find the air of Hackensack exhilarating. The a’ » suffragette ply at Sheboygan, Mich. enator La son at Chatty-nooga, would do well proba The motorist auto try Mobile. The bicyclist should do the same with Wheeling. For the blessings of life, Boone, la., should be excellent. The ex-speaker should be welcome at Cannondaigua, N. Y. A lover of bival should find Oyster Bay a pleasant place of residence. The average coal dealer might profit from a season at Fulton, N. Y. A pleasant home for a poet might be found at Green Bay. Wis. The surgeon out of a job might settle at Lansing, ich. an in exile might find com- fort at Lima, 0. As between Lockport and Freeport, jailbird would probably pre- the aver fer the latter. A bill collector might find the climate of Dunkirk, N. Y., more or less salu- brious. “ Wot yer got de wings tied to his feet fer?” “* Well, you se, dey refused him at de horse show, so I'm goin ter take him down an‘ try to enter him in de flyin’ machine contest."” & © & © Where To Live. The unappreciated old maid might better chance if she moved to ster. The Emp exile might the same circumstances the r of Germany sent into tle at Williamsburg. Under King of England might go to George- town, although his illustrious grand- mother would have been happier at Vicksburg. A Romeo under sentence given a choice of penitentiaries might choose Joliet. The tail-enders in both leagues should be sent into winter quarters at Ballston, N. Y. Madam Bernhardt might spend the last years of her life in Sara-toga. A chronic knocker might find relief fromm a season on the Kickapooh reser- vation. Without being at all invidious, we should say that a lobster would find him- self at his best at Newburg. For a prohibitionist fond of lemonade, why wouldn't Haverstraw be some place to settle in? A first-class home for an amateur Walton ought to be found at Fishkill, “Yes, I proposed, but she said I'd to ask her mother first * ** And cid you?" “No, [was afraid the mother might accept me."’ ® © 6 Toe-ledo might be just the place for a chiropodist or a gout specialist. If you want to start a puppy farm, why not try Young-kers, N. Y.? Retired Tammany leaders should enjoy s of Boss-ton, Lovers of cocktails ought to find hap- anywhere around the Bronx or Manhattan Beach. For a retired laundress, the Scrub Is- lands in the Antilles, Sudbury, Ontario, or Washington should possess attrac- tions. the breeze: pine For a stenographer, Carbon-dale ought to prove a good field of endeavor. For an opera singer, there should be few places like Sing Sing or anywhere on the high or deep seas. For the author of a thing like this— well, Tombstone would seem more ap- propriate than Yuma. The Su fragette’s Lullaby. USH-A-BY, baby, on the tree-top! I don’t give a darn if your cradle should drop! When the bough breaks, I'll cff to the polls, While father’s at home making coffee and rolls, Mrs. Wayupp —“How much sleep do I need, doctor?"’ Doctor—‘*Well, the needs about seven hours." Mrs. Wayupp—“‘Then I shall take about fourteen. I consider that I am that much above the average.’" average person “They say you are a great traveler, Mr. Jones. How do you like Turkey >” ** With cranberry sauée, generally."* 6 © 6 6 comicbooks.com