Judge, 1911-10-28 · page 17 of 24
Judge — October 28, 1911 — page 17: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several brief satirical pieces typical of Judge's humor: **"The Burglar Hunt"** illustration shows a woman directing a man (presumably her husband) to confront an intruder. The caption parodies domestic dynamics—the wife aggressively commanding the husband to show the burglar "no mercy," satirizing how wives push reluctant husbands into dangerous situations for protection. **"Played by the Woman"** jokes about marriage: a debutante asks if marriage is a lottery; the chaperon corrects her—it's a "game of skill," implying women strategically manipulate men into matrimony. The remaining pieces are short quips mocking: - Aviators (viewing crowds like insects; planes resemble bugs) - Mary Garden's (an opera singer's) shocking costume choices - Congressional pomposity - America's excessive food consumption - A Harvard student unfortunate enough to be named "Harvard" - Borrowed umbrellas The tone throughout is lighthearted domestic satire, poking fun at marriage, masculine inadequacy, and contemporary figures.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
ab Scraps from a Jester’s ay Notebook. T HAS been suggested that a good inscription fora marble shaft =/ over the grave of a deceased golfer would be, ‘‘One Down at the Last Hole.”” Bildad is a cheerful soul. He now calls his lawnmower his “‘runabout,”” be- cause, whenever he has a leisure moment, his wife makes him run about with it so much. Small Billikins is pretty sure to be- come a great financier some day. When he learned from his monetary tables the other day that ‘‘ten mills make one cent,’’ he observed that they’d probably make more if nine of them were to be closed. We don’t know whether to grieve or to rejoice over the news that police- men's clubs are hereafter to be made of paper. We have no particular sym- pathy with criminals, but think of the brutality of hitting a manon the head with the editorial page of ——! (The reader will fill in the above space ac- cording to taste.) PLAYED BY THE WOMAN. Debutante—"* Marriage is a lottery, isn't it?"" Chaperon—'* By no means. Marriage is a game of skill."” THE BURGLAR HUNT Voice of professor's wife above tatri— * Don't show them any mercy, William !'” The aviators tell us that, viewed from an aeroplane at a great height, a crowd of people standing below look more like a swarm of ants than anything else. Well, we who belong to the crowd can return the entomological compliment. Viewed from the solid earth, the aviator and his plane look like a cross between a June bug and a black beetle. Mary Garden is reported as saying that she will surprise the Americans with her costumes when she returns to the scenes of her recent triumphs. If this be true, our guess is that her duds will be cut high in the neck and run to decided bloomer effects around the heels. That would, indeed, be a surprise. The Hon. Ben Johnson, of Kentucky, may be the first congressman on record to try an aeroplane, but he isn't the first to go up in the air, by any manner of means. We have even known some Senators to do that. A Gastronomic Observer states that “Americans have made great progress in eating during the past decade,’’ and we guess he is right. Three meals a day for, say, seventy million people for three thousand six hundred and fifty days come to two hundred and fifty-five billion five hundred million meals— which is some gorge when you come right down to it! A Harvard has become a student at the university of the same name. The young freshman’s own name in full is Lionel de Jersey Harvard, but there is a fair chance of his getting through in spite of that fact, if he will gracefully consent early in the game to answer to the call of Dink, Butsey, or Skinny. P. S. (The Boston Transcrspt says that the” Spot Trade 1s tetess THE spot trade may be lifeless And quite devoid of shekels; Yet watch the man that’s wifeless, With yonder jade, Who's largely made Of polka dots and freckles! A’ UMBRELLA, now and then, Is ‘‘borrowed"’ by the best of men. comicbooks.com