Judge, 1911-10-21 · page 18 of 24
Judge — October 21, 1911 — page 18: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This Judge magazine page contains several satirical pieces typical of early 20th-century humor: **"After the Automobile Struck It"** (top): A motorist asks a farmer if a dead animal on the road was his pig. The farmer replies "Yes"—the motorist quips it's "pork now." This jokes about automobiles as new, dangerous hazards that kill livestock. **"No Show at the Horse Show"** (center): Rural character Abe Crockett plans to enter his horse in New York's prestigious horse show. Neighbors mock him—his horse won't compete—but Crockett defends ambition over complacency. The satire contrasts rural optimism with urban sophistication. **Other items**: Musical pun-titles for a horse show band ("Bridle Chorus," "Mare-itana"), a marital joke ("Time for a Change"), and a Mona Lisa reference (the painting was famously stolen in 1911, so this references that real event). "Encircled" jokes about circus seating. The humor is genteel, domestic, and relies on wordplay and social observation rather than political commentary.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Suggestions for a Musical Program by the Horse-show Band. 1. “Bridle”? Chorus 2. “These are they in bright array’’ . Oh, Salutarius ‘‘Hoss’’-tia Beethoven Czerny Wagner Gaul . ‘*Stud’’-ies . Selection from itana . Un-tfoal’’-d ye portals . ‘Prize’’ Song “*Mare’’- Wallace Gounod Wagner RIBBON on the horse is worth two on the bolt. TIME FOR A CHANGE. Wille--'* Ma, 1 don’t think I can stand your husband any longer.”” AFTER THE AUTOMOBILE STRUCK IT. Motorist—'* Was that your pig up the road 2"” Farmer—"* Yes."” Motorut—"* Well, it's pork now." No Show at the Horse Show. By JOE CONE. At CROCKETT groomed his chest- nut nag an’ hourly rubbed him down, Until he hed the slickest coat uv any hoss in town; He combed his mane an’ ragged tail, an’ washed his sprawlin’ feet, An’ walked him up an’ down with pride along ol’ Gungy Street. ‘Fur heaven sakes,’” Ame Green re- marked, ‘‘what be you up to now ‘Hoss show,’ says Crockett airily ‘*Noo York hoss show, I swow!"’ An’ then Ame Green an’ all the rest jest laffed an’ laffed ag’in, To see the elervation uv Abe Crockett’s whiskered chin, “Hoss show!’’ says Green disgustedly. “Why, durn ye! don’t ye know Down in Noo York your bloomin’ nag it won’t stan’ ha’f a show? Hoss show! They ain't no show fur him, not ha’f a show, I say!’’ An’ then the setters they all laffed the usual Gungy way. Abe Crockett he stuck up his nose— "twuz more than he could stan’. “You fellers are a durn good set to criticise my plan! You set aroun’ day after day an’ let the world git by, An’ by an’ by you find yourselves all landed high an’ dry. I may not stan’ but ha’f a show, but thet is up to me; The on’y show you fellers got’s the one you make,’’ says he. Work horse—‘‘Is my hat on straight?” Show horse—‘‘Yes. Are my hair rib- bons all tied?’” Crens Mona Lisa’s Musings. IF IT be true that the French govern- ment once refused five million dol- lars for the missing Mona Lisa, they ought to change the name of that famous painting to the Money Loser. The most irritating thought in connec- tion with the theft of the Mona Lisa is the fact that, while the rest of the world is worrying and raging over her disappearance, she is still probably smil- ing away as enigmatically, not to say as inscrutably, as ever. Whatever be the style of her enigmat- ical smile, it is not to be denied that the lamented Mona Lisa now has a far- away look in her eye. At the Finish. HE FORWARD horse catches the ENCIRCLED. “'T say, usher. is this a box seat?"” “Oh, no, sir. That's the family circle."’ comicbooks.com