Judge, 1911-10-21 · page 15 of 24
Judge — October 21, 1911 — page 15: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This 1910s *Judge* magazine page contains two satirical pieces mocking upper-class society. The top cartoon captioned "Unrecorded Heroes of History" shows a chaotic barber shop, humorously crediting the first man who patronized one as a historical hero—satire on contemporary barbershop culture and advertising. The main article, "The Genial Philosopher on the Horse Show," ridicules a wealthy man complaining that an exclusive horse show lacks entertainment. His absurd suggestions include: parading "Major Uppaten" with his multiple ex-wives (numbered 1-5) in harness, implying serial divorce among the wealthy; and watching socialites "Billie Van Doodleberg" and "Vanderpeyster Jiggers" give an "exhibition in alimony jumping"—mocking how wealthy men paid alimony to multiple ex-wives. The satire targets the frivolous wealthy who attend society events less to appreciate genuine skill than to gossip and observe the scandals of their peers, particularly the marital misadventures of the elite.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
HAIRO J PUNE ‘TRY OUR DID IT PAINLESS {| iH id can PROVE ‘i — j 1 OUR SANDSTONE] MASSAGE 5 | ||| UNEQUALED "st 1 Vg ¢ Hy] ROUGH SKIN [ano stusorn en) > —ooo | UNRECORDED HEROES OF HISTORY—THE FIRST MAN WHO PATRONIZED A BARBER SHOP. THE GENIAL PHILOSOPHER ON THE HORSE SHOW. By JOHN KENDRI eee AT WELL,”’ said the Genial Philosopher, J LAE™ as he took his accustomed place before & the andirons, ‘‘I have just come from the horse show, and I must say I have seen a lot of noble-looking animals there. But why on earth they don’t make ‘em perform is more than I cansee. The idea of going to all this expense getting up the show, and ‘inviting people to exhibit, and then luring the pub- lic in to look the exhibits over without putting them through their paces strikes me as a great wasteof energy andopportunity."’ “What are you talking about?” said Little Binks. ‘‘I was at the horse show myself this evening, and I saw you rubbering all over the place like a visitor from the backwoods. Possibly if you had stopped staring at the people in the boxes and taken even so little as a long-distance peep at the arena, you wouldn’t have missed seeing the animals doing their respective little stunts. Fact is, Mn there was some high jumping there to-night that’’—— ravavavavavavat CK BANGS ered!"’ said the Genial Philosopher. ‘‘Who in thunder cares anything about high jumping these days?. What is a high jump over a six-barred fence compared with such a sight, for instance, as we might have had if the management had turned old Major Uppaten loose in the arena and got him to give an exhibition in the matrimonial tandem class, driving his six wives around the tan-bark, Indian-file fashion? He was there to-night in one of the boxes with the latest Mrs. Uppaten, freshly imported from Reno, and directly across from where he sat, in other boxes, were Mrs. Uppa- ten numbers three, four, and five, with their respective second, third, and fourth husbands. It was quite a family gathering, and it wouldn’t have taken five min- utes to harness them all up in a column. The sight of the old major cracking his whip and keeping them going around that ring with their traces taut would have brought down the house. Then, too, what’s the use of wasting time on flat jumping when Billie Van Doodleberg and Vanderpeyster Jiggers, of the SSS smart set, were both on hand to give an exhibition in alimony “Oh, high jumping be blith- A HORSEMAN OF NOTE JUMPING THE BARS. jumping?” comicbooks.com