Judge — October 7, 1911 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

WHERE MISS OSTRICH HAS THB ADVANTAGE OVER THE AVERAGE LADY. statue looks on a high pedestal in a twelve-by-fourteen apartment house par- lor! A man hardly ever has any sense when he starts out to get a wedding pres- ent. Remember how your Uncle Nathan sent a life-size painting of himself to your cousin Mabel when she was married, and there was hardly a wall in her little flat as big as that hideous painting?’’ “I remember, mamma.’"’ “I have given your Uncle Nathan a hint that a handsome china dinner set would please you better than anything else, and as he is in the china business I hope he’ll have sense enough to send one instead of any daubs of himself, and he is so homely that 1 wonder he can sleep at night. The De Wolfes ought to send something very handsome when we are buying so much of your trousseau at his store. I called on Mrs, De Wolfe the other day and let her know that we were buying most of your things at their store, and if they don’t send something handsome I don’t care if your father doesn’t pay their bill for a year. It will be serving them right. I mentioned . casually to Mrs. De Wolfe how fond you are of cut glas “What did she say?"" “Oh, nothing. If she took the hint, she gave no sign. The De Lancys ought to do something handsome, after all the trade we have given them and the beau- tiful lamp we sent Helen De Lancy when she was married; but they didn’t send anything but a little red satin pin- cushion with a rag of cluny lace over it when your cousin Belle was married, and she was so put out about it that she gave it to the laundress after the wedding. It is hard to have to say the sweet and gracious thing to people when they send such trash as that in the way of wed- ding p» sents. Your great-uncle Henry ough: 4 be good for a fifty-dollar check ; but, my soul! he sent your brother Harry a check for fifty when he was married, and it came back from the bank marked ‘No funds.’ So I don’t know that it is safe to put him down for anything at all. Still, the check he sent Harry looked well among the wed- ding presents. Then there is your great- aunt Elizabeth. But there is no telling how the cat will jump with her. If her ART FOR ART’S SAKE. A GOOD ACCOUNT. Shorty—" Before I propose to you, Miss Goode, I would like to know if you have any- thing in the bank ?”” Miss Goode— Yes, Ihave; and he's the manager. We get married next week.” railroad and other bonds are well up in the market, she may send you fifty dol- lars; and if the bonds are low, you'll be lucky if you get a fifty-cent hair brush from her. Look how she sent your cou- sin Belle a dozen of the old family silver spoons, and then, when some of her rail- road stock went down the week after the wedding, she wrote and asked to have the spoons sent back and said she felt ‘so lonesome’ without them, and she said that she would will them to Belle. If you want to see human nature crop out, just have a big wedding and see what some folks can be guilty of in the way of presents. It’s awful!"’ HE weekly JupGe, read now and then, Makes multitudes of jolly men. comicbooks.com