Judge, 1911-09-02 · page 8 of 24
Judge — September 2, 1911 — page 8: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This Judge magazine page contains multiple satirical sketches about marriage, gender dynamics, and financial schemes circa early 1900s. **"The King's Jester"** and **"Perverted Proverbs"** mock henpecked husbands through inverted wisdom: "He who hesitates is bossed" and "The late 'bird' catches the storm" suggest wives dominate decision-making. "Her Interpretation" shows a husband eager for country travel; his wife insists on staying in town—illustrating marital power imbalances where wives override husbands' wishes. **"The Awakening"** satirizes social climbing. A mother prepares her daughter as a "flower girl" with elaborate costumes, but the girl pragmatically asks about laundry—deflating pretensions. **"Dire Necessity"** depicts a stock-scheme con man. When asked why he'd sell valuable Amalgamated Balloon stock cheaply, he admits needing immediate money for grooming—exposing financial desperation behind get-rich-quick pitches. The humor targets domestic subjugation, social pretension, and financial fraud—common turn-of-century anxieties.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
TAE KING'S JESTER. OME folks even keep their love in cold storage. Whittlings. ANY a good story has been spoiled by an immediate rep- etition of its climax. Many a man is on his uppers be- cause he wasn’t on his job. If life is what we make it some of us ought to be ashamed of our handiwork. It doesn’t always rain on the just and unjust alike, for frequently the unjust secure umbrellas. The only really still tongues are the kinds that are canned, The theological schools are still trying to make good. Of course, the ‘‘swat the fly’’ habit is all right, but there might be complications when one is dis- covered on a shiny, bald pate. When a woman says she’s around forty years of age it is very likely that she is all the way around. ‘O LONG as the woman in the case is the right woman there is nothing the matter with the case. Perverted Proverbs for Hen- pecked Husbands. E WHO hesitates is bossed. Early to bed and early to rise, don’t disregard this, ’tis not healthy nor wise. It is better to count your earnings be- fore they are snatched. ; Rules rush in and wrangles, so 'tis said. The late ‘‘bird’’ catches the storm. Apathy is the rest policy. Her Interpretation. Knicker—‘‘Yes, my dear, I shall be glad to go with you; I long to see the beauties of the country.”” Mrs. Knicker—‘*We will town.”" Thought "Twas Like a Ball Game. Hewitt —‘‘Did you go over to the coro- nation?”’ Jewett—'‘No; it would have been just my luck, after going that big distance, to have had the game postponed on ac- count of wet grounds.”’ stay in Williams—'‘This Walker—‘Right you are; shoes will often get untied, but never just as he is ready to take them off.’"" is a queer world.” a man’s THE AWAKENING. Dignified mother of prospective bride (to so- cial editor) —"* And little Dorotha, sister of the bride, who is to be a flower girl, will be dressed like a Dresden shepherdess, with golden crook festooned with rosebuds and ''—— Young woice from the stairway — where is the wasbrag ?"” Stella—‘Before she married the novelist she wanted to be the heroine of his books."" Bella—‘‘Now she wants the royal- ties."" DIRE NECESSITY “* Yes, sir, in a year from now this Amalgamated Balloon stock will be worth ten thousand dollars 1 sell it to you for fifty cents."* "Il be worth ten thousand dollars in a year from now, why don’t you keep it yourself ?"” ell, you see, I need a shave and a hair cut, and I'd be a holy show if I waited that long.’ comicbooks.com