Judge, 1911-09-02 · page 7 of 24
Judge — September 2, 1911 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several satirical pieces typical of Judge magazine's humor: **"Olla Podrida"** (top left): A collection of humorous one-liners and observations, including a joke about a man asking his uncle "What's the joke?" when told his mother put a brush and comb in his room—implying the uncle is suggesting poor hygiene. **"A Two-sided Proposition"** (main story): A city woman, Miss Annabelle Gushington, romanticizes rural farm life to farmer Adoniram Clovertop. He responds with a brutally detailed account of actual farm labor—milking cows at 3 AM, battling insects and animals, endless chores. The satire mocks urban sentimentality about pastoral life versus rural reality's grinding hardship. **Supporting pieces**: "Ignorance is Bliss" jokes about Kansas law (a "blind pig" was illegal alcohol during Prohibition), and "Some Wine is Bitter" offers cynical observations on courtship and marriage. **Bottom image**: "At the Shore" shows three silhouetted figures labeled Posse, Mamma, and Aunt Susan—likely a social commentary on female companionship or family dynamics. The page satirizes urban pretension and rural practicality.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Tee Olla Podrida. A GIRL of beauty is a joy for- ever. A girl by any other name would be as sweet. A little spooning now and then is relished by the courting men. There is no pipe like an qld pipe. What is one loan without an- other? You can drive a car to water, but you cannot make it swim. TN Gemoend NOT NEEDED. Uncle—'* What's the joke ?"" Wille Mother put a brush and comb in your room," Ignorance Is Bliss. «s"PHE humane society must be very active in Kansas,’’ volunteered Miss Prim. ‘I read where a man in a small town was fined fifty dollars for running a blind pig.’” Some Wine Is Bitter. OURTSHIP is the Wine of Life. We drain the cup with laughter And never learn till Jate That marriage is [he Mcrning After. Jahn Nicholas Bagi. THE MASTER KEY. ‘The key that unlocks them all. A Two-sided Proposition. «é7 HAVE often wondered, Mr. Clover. top, if the people living on these dear old farms amid scenes cf such peaceful and quiet rural beauty have as keen an appreciation of the wondrous beauty of field and hill and meadow and sky as we dwellers in the city have when we catch our all too fleeting glimpses of them when we fare hither- ward for our brief midsummer holiday,” said Miss Annabelle Gushington to Adoniram Clovertop when he was taking her from the station out to his farm. Then she added, “Oh, Iam quite sure that you must be sensible of all the charm and beauty of your quiet, happy, peaceful environ- ment. Are you not, Mr. Clovertop?”’ “Wa-al, it’s this-away,’? said Mr. Clovertop—‘‘when a feller has pulled out wv Soe »' bed at three-thutty in the morn- in’ an’ has milked nine keows in raskeeter an’ fly time an’ the keow critters has basted ye with their tails fer a couple o’ hours an’ mebbe kicked ye over a few times an’ then ye have to give adrove o° screechin’ hawgs their feed an’'a hundred ole hens is chasing’ ye all over the barnyard cluckin’ fer their breakfast an’ a calf or two drags ye all over the barnyard while ye air tryin’ to git them away from their mothers, an’ the thermometer shoots up to a hundred in the shade an’ ye have to dig weeds or bug taters all day or git in hay or chase ten or a dozen miles after some keow critter that has got outo’ the paster, an’ then ye have all that milkih’ to do over agin at night an’ ye finish up yer chores by lantern light the longest day in the year, when all that happens, ma’am, ye ain’tin no condition to git sen- tymental over ‘lights an’ shadders’ an’ ‘peaceful scenes’ an’ sich like. Thar’s two sides to ev’ry proposition an’ I reck- on my side o’ this beauty bizness ain’t the same as yours. ‘Glowin’ sunsets’ an’ ‘rosy morns’ don’t appear the same to me as to you fer—hi thar you, Bally! Ye go to kickin’ up like that again an’ T'll swat ye one with this hosswhip Aunt Susan, AT THE SHORE. comicbooks.com