Judge, 1911-09-02 · page 16 of 24
Judge — September 2, 1911 — page 16: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is a humorous story about Gaffney, a newspaper reporter for the "Bazoo" (a fictional publication), who repeatedly delays an airplane flight by insisting on drinking Scotch whisky before takeoff. The satire works on multiple levels: **The joke:** Gaffney uses "coward" as a psychological taunt to overcome his own fear of flying—a new and dangerous technology in the early aviation era. However, his "courage" merely manifests as alcoholic procrastination. Each time preparations are complete, he demands another drink, getting progressively drunker. **The point:** The cartoon mocks both newspaper reporters' reckless competitiveness and the era's cavalier attitude toward emerging aviation technology. Gaffney's "brave" decision to ride one-handed ultimately backfires—he passes out and falls off before takeoff, missing the entire flight while the airman proceeds without him. The accompanying illustrations satirize masculine bravado and occupational hubris, suggesting that honor and duty can mask simple cowardice and poor judgment.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
TAKING NO CHANCES. Storekeeper—'" I want a boy to be partly in- \d_ partly outdoors."” What becomes of me when the door “I would not go up if I expected to fall. If the motor works all right’’—— “Don’t you think it will work all right to-day?” asked Gaffney. “Certainly! There are every bit as many chances that it will work as that it will not. Of course, if you are a coward’’—— Never say ‘‘coward’’ to a newspaper reporter. It cuts him to the quick. When a reporter is sent out on an as- signment, he is never a coward. Itisa matter of honor with him. He must carry through the work he has been put at. “lL came out here to fly,’’ said Gaff- ney, ‘‘and I am going to fly. Are we all ready?”’ ‘All ready !’’ said the airman. 1. The Age of Innocence.""—After Reynolds. “All right!”’ said Gaffney promptly. “Let's go over and have a drink first.’” So they went over and had a drink— Gaffney took Scotch and felt much bet- ter. He began to see the aeroplane business in a clearer light when he had taken a Scotch and a couple of more Scotches. In fact, he explained several intricate points to the airman. Then they went back to the aeroplane. “All right,”’ said Gaffney, buttoning his coat. ‘‘Is everything ready?” “Everything is ready,”’ said the air- man. “‘Good!"’ said Gaffney. ‘‘Fine! Let’s go over and have a Scotch.’” So they went over and had a Scotch. Gaffney took Scotch because taking a little Scotch is a tradition of the Bazoo office—the Bazoo men never take any- thing else. So he had a few Scotches and asked the airman if he thought it would be possible to go up ten thousand feet. He told the airman he had always longed to go up ten thousand feet. So they went back to the aeroplane. “T feel like a bird already!’’ said Gaffney. ‘Can I get aboard now “Get right in,’’ said the airman, “Everything is ready.”” “Splendid!"’ said Gaffney. ‘Grand! Let’s go over and have a Scotch.”” So they went over and had what Scotch was left, and Gaffney asked the airman if he thought they could fly down to New York and circle around the Bazoo building. “I feel that it is my duty todo that,”’ said Gaffney—only he spoke Scotch (‘‘Feelch my ooty oot’?)—‘‘I feel that it is my duty to do that, and put my head in at the sensa- tional editor's window as we go by and say coyly, ‘Peek-a- boo!’’? So they went back to the aeroplane. “Shall I get in?”’ asked Gaff- ney. “‘All aboard!’’ said the air- man. So, as the Scotch was all gone, Gaffney climbed aboard. But, first, the airman took his seat and the mechanics pre- pared to start the propeller fan. Then Gaffney put one foot on a piece of wire that looked as if it was a good place to put his foot. “All ready?’’ asked the air- man. REVERSED “a SPOT ON HIS CBARACTER.” “Bet I'm ready!"’ said Gaffney, and the aeroplane started. At the last minute Gaffney had had a sudden inspiration. He decided that it would please the sensation editor if he rode with only one foot on the aeroplane, holding on with one hand. So he only put one foot on it, and then he closed his eyes. He did not want to be airsick. Well, when the start of the aeroplane jerked Gaffney off, he merely lay back on the ground and slept, and the me- chanics—not wanting him in the road— took him into an empty hangar and laid him on some straw. About five minutes later the big mas- tiff belonging to the airman came nosing into the hangar and noticed Gaffney. He thought he might be a long-lost friend and went up and looked him squarely in the face, and when Gaffney felt the warm breath of the dog on his face he gasped, “Hundred miles a minute!’’ closed his fists with a death grip on the off hind leg of the mastiff. The mastiff and 2, ‘ The Innocence of Age."'—Afler Goldbrick. comicbooks.com