Judge — August 5, 1911 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

RITICS were created for the sole purpose of telling the public that it has no taste and that its ideas are al- ways narrow and perverted. Also, that it does not know, under any circum- stances, what it is talking about. A critic makes it his business not to agree with anybody. In his efforts todo this he very often disagrees with himself. Many a painter, author, dramatist, or WHY HAVE CRITICS? composer has been shown by the critics that what he thought he meant he did not mean at all. A critic is usually a creature of such profound learning that he can, when rhapsodizing over something that is ab- solutely worthless ‘to everybody else, use a number of new adjectives the meaning of which is as obscure and hazy as the object to which they are applied. MR. AND MRS. CITIBRED, SUBURBANITES. A Little Correspondence. 1. Mr. Citibred—"* 1'11 tell you what we ‘Il do to- t one of those basket things an’ day, kid, We'll fill it fall of eats an‘ pull off a picnic.—— SS ae 2, —— What! you forgot to put in any drinkables ? Say, this is goin’ to be a pretty dry picnic !"* TTT Paani 3. Mrs. Citibred—** Will, stop your dancing You ‘ll fall.’’ When critics die, it is the generally accepted idea of all people who do not agree with them that they are punished by being placed in the presence of the thing or things they have so persistently lauded and are forced to listen to it or gaze unwinkingly and silently upon it throughout eternity, while evil spirits taunt them with their bad taste. Harve Prats. THEY GO PICNICKING. LGY was very indignant because Snipperton, in sending his last statement of account, took the very great liberty of writing on the bot- tom, in large, red letters, thrice underscored, the words, Please Remit. Smarting un- der the insult, he sat down at the club writing table and wrote the following scathing remonstrance: The Crackerjack Club, June —, 1911. Snipperton: Sir—Will you be good enough to inform me by re- turn mail why you have taken the very great liberty of scrawling that sanguinary im- pertinence, Please Remit, at the end of your bill? I recall sending you a check on ac- count eight months ago, and I do not understand why you should be guilty of such im- pudence. Yours truly, Algernon Slowpay. To which Mr. Snipperton immediately replied: New York, June —, 1911. Algernon Slowpay, Esq. : Dear sir—Your last remit- tance was so remote that we have asked *5u to please mit in t vope that the bal- ance might be remut. We would rather press your gar- ments than yourself, and on receipt of a plain check from you for the balance due will be glad to show you some of our fancy checks for summer waistcoats. Awaiting your further or- ders, we beg to remain, Yours respectfully, Snipperton & Co. Whereupon Algy sold the eC Gamer correspondence to a comic pa- per for enough money to make a satisfactory payment on account, a bridge out of a bar rail. them tight-rope walkers come from. ‘Now I'm — Nobody but a boob would think of building I often wondered where wised up."" comicbooks.com