Judge — July 29, 1911 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE TIME, PLACE, AND GIRL Are you sure that young Smithson loves you and you alone ?”” Ob, yes, dad other time."” More then than at any The Proper Place. HE PRESIDENT of a certain firm was very fond of issuing circulars to the employes of the company. The vice-president of the corporation thought about ninety per cent. of these circulars were useless and was not slow in ex- pressing himself on the sub- ject. One day a filing clerk came to the vice-president and inquired how these circulars should be filed. “They are all issued by the president,’ explained the clerk, “and have no numbers.” “Oh,"’ gruffly replied the vice-president, ‘‘just put them in a book and label it, ‘Circulars without number.’ ’” . Gossip in Olden Time. “¢T HEAR,” says Methuse- lah’s niece, ‘‘that Tilzah, the daughter of Shamaseth, is to wed Bilfile, the son of Kooth."" “Yes. replies Asapa, the daughter of Megogg. ‘The idea! Why, he is young enough to be her great-grand-father!"" Willing To Help. Mr. Crawford —**The only way for me to avoid these pay- ments is to put everything I own in your name."* Mrs. Crawford—‘*Won't it be just lovely for me to have all that money to spend!"” We Cannot Smile. HE CABLE dispatches told us that the British crowds in London attempted to sing ‘‘God Save the King’’ and got off the key and forgot the vvords and jumbled the an- them remarkably, However, having noticed many an American crowd wrestling with “The Star Spangled Banner,"’ we cannot wax merry over the London matter. In the Future. Mr. Peewee—‘'We demand votes for men! Now is the time for action! Let us take the bull by the horns!"" Mr. Homebody—"A point of order!’ The gentleman should have said, ‘Let us take the cow by the horns.’ ’’ IFE is made up of one consonant at the begin. ning, a small vowel at the end, and a large IF in the middle. LOGICAL REASONING. + Seems to me that isn’t a very good camel, mother. like the one in my Noah's ark."” UP-TO-DATE. ** T should like to see a plain dress." “* Mono- or biplane ?”” It’s not Ingenious Woman. “ ANG it!’’ exclaims the husband, straightening up and mopping his brow. ‘I simply can't get all this stuff into my trunk."” “Pooh!"? smiles his wife. “There never was a man who could pack atrunk. Let me at- tend to it.” Whereupon she unpacks his trunk and repacks it neatly, putting into it all the dresses she could not get into her trunk, and leaving all of his clothing except one shirt and an out- grown suit in the wardrobe. “A man,” she explain: “can carry all he really needs in his suitcase."* At the Show. Country cousin—‘‘Is that the spotlight?” City man—* Yes. Country cousin — ‘Huh! That's funny! spots on it.”” I don't see any T IS more blessed to give ad- vice than to receive it, be- cause most advice is valueless comicbooks.com