Judge, 1911-07-15 · page 7 of 24
Judge — July 15, 1911 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three separate satirical pieces targeting common social hypocrisies: **"Life's Little Paradoxes"** lists ironic contradictions: free nations create more laws; manual laborers earn least; preachers lack qualifications; soldiers don't benefit from wars they fight. The final item mocks outdated superstition by suggesting "suspended animation" (modern pseudoscience) explains why cowards supposedly died repeatedly before actual death. **"Those College Swells"** satirizes wealthy college students whose expensive clothing and spending reveal their emptiness—they flunk courses, smell of tobacco and alcohol, and waste their fathers' money on fraternity excess. **"A Fast Talker"** ridicules verbose orators who speak at length while saying nothing substantive—a sailor observes the speaker talks at "thirty nots an hour," parodying the speed of empty rhetoric. **"Bargain Sales"** presents a humorous seasonal complaint: summer clothes become absurdly cheap just as weather turns cold, while winter clothing grows expensive. The bottom illustration shows a church congregation listening to a sermon, connecting to the orator theme above.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Life’s Little Paradoxes. HE FREER the nation, the more laws it has. The man who does the meanest work gets the poorest pay. Those who preach are usually the least qualified for preaching. Those who fight a war do not get the benefit of it, and those who get the ben- efit do not fight it. YEARS ago people believed that cow- ards died many times before their death; but science calls it suspended animation nowadays. = Ellis 0. Jones. “RAIN-BEAUX."” Those Coll lege Swells. (Not meaning to rain Moore's good reputation.) By ROSCOE GILMORE STOTT. HOSE college swells! Those college swells! How many a tale their clothing tells Of brainless youth and pa’s last check, Which soon was spent, and then—by heck! Those joyous sports were flunked to- day— And many a frat doth terd that way; Within its halls tobacco s:nells And bottles speak of co‘lege swells. And so twill be when they are gone; Anothe: batch will’ then come on, While ¢ ther cads will stroll with bells, Who sing the praise of college swells. i] . / LISTENING TO THE SERMON. A Fast Talker. "THE ORATOR spoke about the things he had not said, the things he did not believe, and the things he would not do. “That fellow,’’ observed the sailor, “tis talking at the rate of about thirty nots an hour.’” Bargain Sales. TH MELANCHOLY days have come, The saddest of the year, When summer clothes are most too cheap, And winter clothes too dear. Carlyn Wells. comicbooks.com