Judge — July 15, 1911 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

This Kingly Bird Within the Letter 5” is the time honored trade mark of Anheuser-Busch. It’s the | emblem of Quality and Purity. Budweiser It stands afone at the top of the world’s bottled beers, because we use only the cream of each year’s crop of Barley and selected Saazer Hops. It is thoroughly aged in the largest storage cellars in the world. Its mild- ness and low percentage of alcohol makes it friends EVERYWHERE. Bottled only (with corks or crown caps) at the Anheuser-Busch Brewery St. Louis, Mo. —SESESESESESESESEEEEEEEEEEESEEEEEEEy oI Problem The teller of a bank 1s one that prob- lems often vex; No sooner does he check his cash than he must cash some checks. —Dallas News. Caroni Bitters. — Unequalled for flavoring sliced Fruits, Ices and Jellies, Sample on receipt of QBeents. Oct. C. Blache & Co., 73 Broad St., N. Y. Gen'l Distra. “My coffee is not quite sweet enough,’’ remarked he. “Well, if you don’t like it, I suppose you'll have to lump it,’’ said she, with a smile, passing the loaf sugar his way. —Red Hen. | No Change. “I met Dunkey to-day for the first time for years. He hasn’t changed much."” “Oh, he hasn't changed at all, but he doesn’t seem to realize it.’’ “How do you mean?” “‘Oh, he’s forever talking about ‘what a fool he used to be.’ ’’—Red Hen. An Eye Insurance Policy at Yo: gist’s, Murine Eye Remedy Insures. —Eye Comfort—Eye Beauty. Try Murine. Drug- The Better Way.—Praising a man af- ter he has made good isn’t in it with giving a little boost to the man who is trying to.—Detroit Free Press. “Dictated But Not Read.” Really, now, this thing of the letter we get with its postscript, ‘*Dictated but not read,’’ is getting to be a nui- sance. In the first place, it is an insult to slur the man to whom the letter is written, A letter not worth reading over for possible corrections by the writer is not worth reading by the per- son to whom it is addressed. In the second place, the phrase is a fad fake adopted for the most part to convey the idea that the writer or the dictator has such a vast volume of correspondence he cannot find time to attend to it. In the third place, the phrase is often designed asa loophole for escape from the con- tract character of the letter. It enables the man who sends it to lay the blame upon the stenographer when he wants to recede from some statement or promise made in the epistle. Too bad that we haven't the name of the man who returned to the sender one of those ‘‘Dictated but not read"’ let- ters, with the scrawl at the top, “Opened but not read,"’ that we might do him appropriate honor. Away with this fad and fake and devious trick! Let us not answer any letter that carries the idiotic or disingenuous legend.— W. M. Reedy, in Caxton Magazine. HIS MASTER'S VICE. First deg—': How can you keep track of your master when you have a bad cold in the head ?"" Second dog —"' Oh, I just follow the crooked- est trail of footprints I can find and I always find they lead to him." Not Necessary. Did you tell ole Joe as I was a bloomin’ liar?"’ “No; I thought ’e knew!'’—London Punch. His Fortune.—Many a man has more gold in his teeth than he has in the bank.— Philadelphia Record. Exasperated purchaser—‘‘Didn't you guarantee that this parrot would repeat every word he heard?” Bird dealer— ertainly I did.” Exasperated purchaser—** But he don’t repeat a single word.’” Bird dealer—‘‘He repeats every word he hears, but he never hears any. He is as deaf as a post.""—Blue Bull. In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com