Judge, 1911-06-17 · page 15 of 26
Judge — June 17, 1911 — page 15: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is a satirical humor page from Judge magazine mixing romantic and social commentary. "Cupid's Forecast for June" humorously treats love and marriage like a weather forecast, predicting "depression in heart areas" clearing to warmth and church bells—suggesting June is prime matrimony season. "The Crab" offers a poetic aside: crabs abandon their defensive shells for love in June, a metaphor for vulnerability in romance. "Proverbs of a Young Married Man" cynically advises on marriage, including the famous quip that while love is life's greatest thing, "nobody objects to a little money for a change"—satirizing materialism in matrimony. "Now for the Stingless Bee" mocks progressive scientific movements (spineless cacti, painless dentistry) by proposing a "stingless bee" developed at Massachusetts Agricultural College. The satire suggests if science can remove inconvenient traits from nature, why not breed selfless reformers and non-corrupt politicians? The joke: such improvements are equally absurd. The illustration "Get the Hook" shows what appears to be romantic entanglement requiring intervention.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
CUPID'S ALMANAC. By OLIVER HERFORD and JOHN CECIL CLAY. Cupid's Forecast for June. EPRESSION in heart areas relieved by brief storms which clear the air. A wave of tenderness over all the heart regions followed by a general warm feel- ing and the glad ringing of church bells. If you are going to cultivate matrimony this year, now is the time to begin. Flowery sentiments abound. Increasing warmth produces an atmosphere charged with restlessness in the thickly peopled heart centers. Unsettled weather and clouds melting away in epistolary show- ers. THE CRAB. Since it is written, ‘ Crabbed Age and Youth Cannot together live,"” now strange to tell The crusty Crab for love of June's sweet tooth Lays down his life and doffs his armored shell. Now for the Stingless Bee. STINGLESS bee is now to join the procession of the Proverbs of a Young Married Man. By WILLIAM J, BURTSCHER, HE KISSES a man steals before marriage let him pay back after- ward, and let him not quit when the ob- ligation has been met. Fools rush in where bachelors fear to wed. To want divorce is human, to avoid it is divine. A woman’s pout often sets a man to wondering what it’s all about. He who seeks a wife ought to find her, and he who does so ought to mind her. Love is the greatest thing in the world—but nobody ob- jects to a little money for a change. spineless cactus, thornless roses, tasteless medicine, painless dentistry, and similar movements which bless the modern world. Now, then, if science shall be able to cultivate an unselfish reformer, an uplifter without an axe to grind, and a politician without an itching for graft, the millennium may actually begin to dawn. There is something, however, to be said in favor of the new bee creation upon which the Massachusetts Agricultural College, at Amherst, is at work. Being no longer required to devote time or energy to the time- honored stinging activities of his kind, it is guaranteed that as a honey gatherer he will be two or three times as indus- trious as of old. In some occult way the plan also pro- vides for the keeping of bees as successfully in the city as in the country. “Grr THE HOOK." comicbooks.com