Judge — June 3, 1911 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

man carp. I don’t know for sure, but I reckon every German carp in Germany, except maybe some that was too young to swim long distances, was in that bunch; and they was all makin’ straight for the German carpenter's heirloom what was tied to my anchor. Now, a German carp can scent a hunk of lim- burger cheese as far as’’— “Will rent be cheaper if that Canada lumber comes in free? That's the ques- tion!"’ said Sim Perkins sadly. ‘‘Now, if rent’’ “So the German carpenter begun to beller again,’’ said Uncle Ashdod, ‘‘for he knowed no steel jacket nor copper tube nor tin box nor oilskin could keep them hungry carp from gettin’ at that So I says, ‘Shut up, you skee- ‘I'll fix it for you.” So ich they in’ their cheese. sicks!’ I says. I had the crew up anchor, wi done with one hand apiece, hol noses with the other, and I give orders to h’ist that chunk of copper-riveted cheese to the top o’ the foremast, which did; and when them German carp’’— ‘*Pussonally,’’ said Sim Perkins dole- fully, ‘‘I don’t think rent is ever goin’ to drop none. I hold it’s goin’ higher and higher. I don’t know how high it'll go before it’’—— “Off they scooted, every blamed carp!’ said Uncle Ashdod. ‘‘In fi’ minutes they wasn’t a German carp in the German ocean, But in about two days back they come’? “It'll be so a poor feller simply can't was TERMS OF ADMISSION. ** T shall be delighted to be put up at your club, old man; but I am surprised that you have one in such a small village.” “Yep, this is Hook and Ladder Number One ; an’ in conformin’ with the house rules you ‘ll have to run with the hose every time there 's a fire."’ DQ MOTOR-BOAT GOSSIP. “* Built more for comfort than speed." pay rent,’ said Sim Perkins glumly. “That's how it’’ “And every German carp,"’ continued Uncle Ashdod, ‘‘was bringin’ a flyin’ fish along with it. Some had their flyin’ fishes by the wing, like they was es- cortin’ a lady, and some drug their flyin’ fishes backwards by the tail; but as soon as they was alongside the Sally Ann, each German carp took a tight hold of its own flyin’ fish by the tail and bit it. If you could have heard them poor flyin’ fish holler’’—-— “Well, what do I care?’ said Sim Perkins recklessly. ‘I don’t pay no rent nohow. Let her go up!"’ “And up she went!’’ said Uncle Ash- dod. ‘‘Just as soon as a German carp bit hard enough, its flyin’ fish spread its wings and flew up in the air, with its German carp on behind, stee t like a rudder, right toward that there main- mast top, and the minute they was near the chunk of limburger the German carp let go and made a grab with its mouth for the steel jacket the limburger was in. They hit it about five times in six, and putty soon they had a hole wore in the steel jacket. Then the German car- penter begun to beller again, But I says, ‘Git the rifles, Hans!’ I says; and he got em. So there me and him lay, on our backs, flat on the deck, and we shot them German carp one by one as they sailed over us. But we was care- ful not to shoot the flyin’ fish. They was innocent parties to that there trans- action.”” “And I couldn’t pay no rent if I wanted to,’’ said Sim Perkins angrily. “Because why? I ain’t got no money!’" “And that was the best fishin’ sport I ever had,’’ said Uncle Ashdod. ‘Me and the German carpenter we shot mil- lions of German carp, and they fell down on the ship until the deck was full, and we was buried so deep we both suffo- cated to death. It wasn't the weight of the fish; it was the weight of the lead we had shot into them. Now, as to what become of them poor flyin’ fish with their sore tails’’—— Sim Perkins got up and stretched. “What do I care about rent, anyway?" he said cheerfully. ‘*My wife, she pays the ren To a Fishing Pole. (Atter Kipling.) by ESTELLE MAY NOLTE OLE of my childhood, known of old— Dirty and bent, I love you still!— Upon whose rusty hook we caught Strings of fishes from pool and rill, In fancy now I'm fishing yet— I don’t forget—I don’t forget! A Common Complaint. Farmer—‘‘According to the papers, the world is full of uprisings.”” Housewife— Yes, it seems to be con- tagious. I notice that even the bottoms of your berry boxes are affected."” LITTLE stealing now and then Brings many a man to the pen. COULD NOT BE WORSE. Old gent—"'*Pon my word, madam, T should hardly have known you, you have al- tered so much.”* Lady—"" For the better or for the worse ?"" Old gent—"" Ab, madam, you covld only change for the better."” comicbooks.com