Judge, 1911-05-27 · page 9 of 24
Judge — May 27, 1911 — page 9: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three satirical pieces: **"The Meeting"** mocks America's newly appointed ambassador to Russia by suggesting he communicates in broken Russian-English hybrid gibberish (adding "-ski" suffixes to English words). The joke implies either the ambassador's incompetence or absurd assumptions about Russian language/culture—though it humorously depicts him successfully conducting diplomatic business despite the nonsensical exchanges. **"The Milk Dealer's Paradox"** is a brief joke about urban commerce: wealthy apartment dwellers pay premium prices but receive inferior milk, while their milkman profits by adulterating it. **"Accommodating the Editor"** satirizes newspaper workplace culture, showing an editor cynically demanding his employee marry immediately to provide material ("two columns on 'Married Life'") for the publication—treating personal life as content. The large whale cartoon at bottom appears unrelated, illustrating Jonah's biblical story with modern comforts, suggesting modern life would have made hardship less burdensome.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
The Meeting. SPECIAL dispatch from St. Petersburg gives the fol- lowing account of the meeting between the Czar and our newly appointed ambassador to the court of Russia: The ambassador (with a courtly bow)—‘*How- didoski?”’ H.I. M. the Czar (most graciously extending his hand)— “Fineski; and youski? The ambassador (seizing the hand warmly )—‘‘Greatsk H. 1. M. the Czar (waving his hand toward the imperial sideboard)—‘‘ Havanipski?”’ The ambassador (a pleased smile wreathing his face)— “‘Don’teareifidoski."’ H. I. M. the Czar (inspecting the supply)—‘‘ What'llitbe- ski?"’ The ambassador (contentedly )—*'Sameoldthingski.”” H. I. M. the Czar (inquiringly)—‘What'sthatski? Cock- skitailski?” The ambassador (shaking his head)—‘‘Nitski; scotch- whiski."" It is most gratifying to gather from this report, which comes to us from an authoritative source, that we have at last sent an ambassador to Russia who is familiar with the language of the country to which he is accredited. The Milk Dealer's Paradox. Suburbanite—‘‘ Are you satisfied with your milk and your milkman?”’ Apartmentite—Well, I should say not. We pay for rich milk, but get poor; while our milkman sells poor milk and gets rich.” ACCOMMODATING THE EDITOR. Editor—-"* Are you engaged to be married, Mr. Keypounder ?"” Mr. Keypounder—* Why—er—yes."’ Editor—" Kindly draw on your expense account for fifty dollars, get married at once, and let me have two columns on ‘ Married Life in a Great City ' by twelve o'clock. And—er—congratulations.’” Musical Maxims. A NEW tune sweeps clean o’er the nation. I care not who makes a nation’s ‘‘Americas’’ so long as I can write their ‘‘Siss-boom-de-ays."’ The creak of the piano stool as she turns to depart is the sweetest music of the hour to the tired pupil. NY of the ‘‘requests’’ on a concert program are there solely at the request of the manager. ‘‘IF JONAH HAD LIVED IN THIS MODERN IMPROVED AGE HIS LIFE MIGHT HAVE BEEN LESS IRKSOME.”" For the benefit of those who wish to obtain a clear view of the whale’s interior, the bone obstructions have been removed from the scene. comicbooks.com