Judge, 1911-05-27 · page 10 of 24
Judge — May 27, 1911 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several satirical pieces typical of early 20th-century American humor: **"Reflections of Uncle Ezra"** presents rural folk wisdom poking fun at contemporary figures and events—the Sultan of Morocco's flight, the Mexican border conflict, and frivolous social trends like piano lessons. **"Too Fast"** uses an egg-seller's mishap as metaphor for political recklessness, likely referencing trust-busting efforts and tariff debates of the era. The moral: rushing toward goals causes financial loss. **"A Tip on Tips"** satirizes class anxieties around gratuities by publishing a Chicago waiter's precise tipping schedule for the *Lusitania* voyage. The satire mocks both the waiter's presumption that ten percent will always produce smiles and the broader uncertainty about proper tipping etiquette in changing times. **The cartoons** include domestic humor about cleaning brass fixtures and the aftermath of rain, offering gentle social observation rather than sharp political commentary.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Reflections of Uncle Ezra. By ROY K, MOULTON UBE HASKINS went down to New York to paint the town red, but he ran out’n paint before he got to Twenty-third Street and came home on a sightless baggage. The newspapers say that the Sultan of Morocco isa fugitive; but, by gravy! Ihave heered Sultans called wuss names than that. The feller that invented the Ben Davis apple certainly had a sense of humor, but the feller that invented the water- melon without puttin’ a handle on it had a greater one. Hi Purdy, whose wife has been col- lectin’ alimony from three former hus- bands, received some bad news the other day. Oneof themdied. Hi says if that sort of thing keeps up he will have to go to work. It begins to look as though that Mexi- can war is goin’ to last until one side or the other runs out of c‘garettes. No young lady’s eddication is complete until she kin play Mendel & Sons’ wed- ding march on the piano. It is better to have loved a fat man than never to have loved at all—but not very much. The most comfortable and cheapest way to commit suicide is to worry your- Too Fast. By CHARLES IRVIN JUNKIN. HE PICKED up his basket And counted the eggs; He started for market With jubilant legs. He reckoned the shek: He stumbled! aghast! For you're apt to lose money If you travel too fast! He tinkered the tariff, He hacked and he thrust, He pounded and hammered To murder a trust; And after the battle He dreamed of the past, For you're apt to lose wages If you travel too fast! A Tip on Tips. CHICAGO waiter who sails with his wife and two daughters on the Lusita- nia, to ‘do’? Europe in style for three months on the pro- ceeds of ‘‘tips’’ received by him, gives the following sched- ule of tipping prices: When dining alone, ten cents. When dining with a woman, twenty-five cents. When entertaining a party, fifty cents or more. When in doubt, ten per cent. of bill. Deduct accordingly when the waiter refuses to smile. Never offer a tip until after service is over. ART FOR ART’S SAKE, Artist—'" Yes, I prize my brasses so highly that I never allow them to be disturbed.”” self to death about the weather. Be liberal, but don't overdo it. And what sense would there be in disturbing them every night? TORS 2 If the public could feel that : this schedule of tipping prices would be entirely satisfactory to the honorable profession of waiters, there would be distinct relief on a point concerning which there has been some hazi- ness. Mr. John Henry William Rehm, the globe-trotting waiter from Chicago, plans to dispense his money on the basis he has given. But we only await his return to substantiate our pre- diction that ten per cent. of the bill will not always fix upon the features of a waiter ‘‘the smile that won't come off.’” Sloppy. HEN the rain is over And water's in the path, Old Mother Earth looks like She’s had herself a bath. SOME men acquire greatiess and others get merely a swelled head. TWEEDLEDUM AND TWEEDLEDEE, Stout party behind the tree—'' Haw, baw, the bloomin’ hostrich thinks 'imself 'id.'' comicbooks.com