Judge, 1911-05-27 · page 12 of 24
Judge — May 27, 1911 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three satirical pieces: **"He Loved Her Still"** mocks a divorce proceeding where the wife praises her husband's "large heart"—then reveals she means he has room for her *and other women*, implying infidelity. **"According to Rules"** jokes about bureaucratic absurdity: a man brings an umbrella to an art gallery, explaining that the posted rules require leaving umbrellas outside, so he's following instructions by not entering. **"A Good Trade"** references the recent (historical) reburial of Revolutionary War naval hero John Paul Jones. The satire is that despite elaborate ceremonies honoring him, his bones were initially placed under a stairway at Annapolis—an undignified resting place. Now they're finally getting a proper monument. **"His Hope Grew Cold"** depicts a miserly patient telling his doctor he's disappointed it's only a cold, not malaria, because he has quinine he doesn't want to waste. The page also includes a brief joke about Chinese language barriers.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
He Loved Her Still. By EUGENE C. DOLSON HEN the lady was granted ahearing In the court of divorce, she began: “From the earliest days of our wedlock I have found him a large-hearted man,"" “Then why should you doubt his affec- tion?” “You mistake me," plied. “There's room in his heart, I am certain, For myself and some others beside.’ she quickly re- According to Rules. “ HY, you absent-minded man! Why are you starting out with an umbrella on such a sunshiny day?" “Tam bound for the art gallery “But you cannot exhibit an umbrella!" “Of course not. But a notice on the catalogue says that one must leave his cane or umbrella outside before he can enter.”” From the Gambler's Point of View. TIS BETTER to have won and lost, Than never to have won at all. Doctor—"' You'll be all right in a day or so. Canny patient—" I was kind o' hopin’ it was malaria, doc. A Good Trade. ITH great dis- play and pa- rade, the remains of Paul Jones were a few years ago brought from France and deposited at An- napolis. General Horace Porter, who was then our diplo- matic representative in France, conducted the search which led to the discovery of the remains. After all the show and glori- fication over our first great naval fighter, the bones of Paul Jones were interred under a stairway at Annapolis. However, arrangements are now being made for a suitable tomb and monument to Jones. Too much honor cannot be paid to the memory of the his ship was commander who, when sinking under him, leaped with his crew “What a funny way they talk, mother “THE HEATHEN CHINEE IS PECULIAR.” Do you s'pose they really understand each other ?"’ on board the enemy’s vessel and com- pelled its surrender. So far as known, he is the only sailor who ever swapped ships under such conditions. ALL is not girl that titters. SAR toenen HIS HOPE GREW COLD. It's nothing but a slight cold."” I've got a lot o’ quinine an’ I hate to see it go to waste." comicbooks.com