Judge, 1911-04-29 · page 19 of 26
Judge — April 29, 1911 — page 19: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
**Upper Story ("Up in the Air"):** A porter named George navigates an absurd encounter with a farmer-like man who claims to have put his wife in an upper berth but then insists any of thirty-eight ladies will do—suggesting he's either lying about having a wife or doesn't care which woman he's assigned to. The joke satirizes either marital indifference or outright deception. A sidebar mocks a new suburb "Dipperhurst," joking that despite being 120 miles away, residents already face an "air trust" threatening to raise commutation rates—early satire of emerging air travel monopolies and suburban sprawl. **Lower Section ("The Days and Ways of a Demagogue"):** This illustrated poem by Charles Irvin Junkin traces a cynical political operator's yearly cycle: freezing in January (poor), ranting about injustices in March, faking reform in February, weeping crocodile tears in April, sowing discontent in May, and by June—having collected donations and gained fame—abandoning his causes for leisure. It's a biting critique of demagogues who exploit public grievances for personal profit.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
the women in lower ten. Put my wife in lower ten. That will be all right.’” George went back to the waiting passenger. He said he could give her sleeping room if she was willing to double up with one of the ladies. She said, under the circumstances, she was willing. George politely asked the ladies in upper four if one of them would occupy lower four. They both refused to move indignantly. George went back to the man in the smoker. “I guess you made a mistake ‘bout that number, sah,’’ he said. ‘‘Is you sure your wife is in upper four?”’ s “Yes, oh, yes! Upper four,”’ said the man. George shook his head. “I's afraid I done offend them ladies, askin’ one of them to occupy lower ten wif you, sah,’ he said. ‘‘Seems like I make a bad mistake.’" “All right!"’ said the man. Ask any one of 'em."" “*Beg yo’ pardon?’’ said George. “Ask any one of ’em,’’ said the man. Any one of them!”’ “Now, boss,’ said George indignantly, ‘‘is you tryin’ to get me into trouble?"’ “Trouble? Oh, no! **Glad to accommodate."’ “You mean I shall ask any one of them thirty-eight ladies’’—— “All right! Any one of them,”’ said the man. **Boss,"’ said George,‘‘if you think I's goin’ in there an’ try to pick out your wife from amongst thirty-eight ladies I never set eyes on, and can’t see nohow, you's wrong. You’s dead wrong. Now, s’pose I went to lower five’’-—— “All right,”’ said the man. ‘‘Lower five “Or s’pose I went to lower seven” “All right,”’ said the man, ‘*Lower seven"’—— George stood back and looked the farmer-looking man over “Ask another. I don’t care. “It’s all the same. No trouble at all,"’ said the man. carefully. UP IN THE AIR. “* How do you like that new Dipperhurst suburb ?"* “ well. It's only one hundred and twenty miles as the crow flies, and no dangerous air pockets. But the air trust is already threatening to raise the commutation rates."’ “Mister,” he said, ‘is you goin’ to tell me which berth your wife is in?”” “Hey? Wife? mon."" All of ’em! Allof ‘em! I’m a Mor- THE DAYS AND WAYS OF A DEMAGOGUE. By CHARLES IRVIN JUNKIN. N JANUARY He almost froze! Not fire enough To warm his toes. For coal was high And funds were low, And other folks Got all the dough. In windy March, That roars and blows, He tooted forth His tale of woes; The fearful wrongs He shouted loud, To paralyze The startled crowd. In Februa: He thought, for luck, He'd start right in To rake the muck, To draw the crowd, To scoff or pray, That dividends Might come his way. In April days He wept him tears; His heart was bowed With awful fears. The Peepul’s Wrongs! Ah! who can tell Save he who knows The story well? In sunny June His purse was full, No more to work Or toil or pull! The Peepul found (Ah, great the fall!) Some dinky flowers, And that was all! In shining May He sowed the seed Of discontent And petty greed, From packages That bore his name, And brought him cash And doubtful fame. comicbooks.com