Judge, 1911-04-15 · page 18 of 24
Judge — April 15, 1911 — page 18: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page satirizes women's suffrage activism through multiple pieces: **"Idle Thoughts of a Militant Suffragette"** presents mock aphorisms from a female suffragist's perspective, mixing legitimate grievances (women lack voting rights, are ruled by men) with absurd threats (breaking Parliament windows with bricks, wearing pants). The satire suggests suffragettes are both justified and dangerously extreme—the author ridicules both their cause and their methods simultaneously. **"Imported from Mexico"** depicts suspicious-looking men trespassing on a homeowner's property, claiming "spring maneuvers." The caption questions what an officer could do—likely referencing contemporary concerns about Mexican immigration or border security, though the exact reference is unclear. **"Our American Ruins"** jokes that American girls are "annexing" ancient ruins—a mild jab at American tourism or cultural appropriation. **"Trouble Coming"** warns that harem skirts (a contemporary fashion) will create marital conflict in lower-income households where suspenders are shared. The overall tone is conservative, mocking progressive causes while presenting superficially witty arguments against women's political equality.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Idle Thoughts of a Militant Suffragette. By HENRY G. PHILLIPS "LL PUT a girdle round the earth's middle that will hold up a petticoat and skirt in every land. Man proposes—why not woman? We'd get the creature we really wanted then, perhaps. If you really want to keep a gentleman friend—don’t marry him. Out of sight out of mind is his motto. But can we forget—with a lapful of children and a suffrage meeting unat- tended? Of two male evils the less is always chosen—we prefer the half rule of a hus- band to the tyranny of a father. A rolling stone gathers no moss; but, remember, a brick will break the dows of even the House of Parliament. Of all sad words of tongue or pen, The saddest are these, ‘‘We're ruled by men!"" Nothing venture, nothing have—if you can’t vote, then keep your husband away from the polls! Remember that familiarity contempt—keep all men at a respectful they cry, ‘Votes for breeds distance until Women!"’ Comparisons are odious—to men, I'd rather carry a banner in the meanest band of suffragettes than be the mother of twins. God help women—who don’t help them- selves! Election comes but once a year—but let not your tongue rest one day of the three hundred and sixty-five, lest they forget. How bitter a thing it is to look at power through men’s eyes! They ask us if we mean to imitate them in attire, too. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it—and if their pants are necessary, we shall wear them! Misery loves company—that’s why so many of our faithless sisters prate of their ‘blessed estate Do not cast your pearls before swine —vote only for candidates of your sex. Man has posed as a lion among us since the tyrant Adam, but now that we twist his tail we discover a calf! It is a wise father that knows his own children and a foolish mother that takes care of them. We want equal rights! Some of us are born to be men, others achieve manhood, while some, alas! have men thrust upon us. They bid us marry our enemies to con- quer them—that remedy is worse than the disease. Sweet is women, revenge — especially to Imported from Mexico. “HE THERE!” cried the house- holder, as a lot of hard-looking characters slouched up the street and seated themselves upon his front-yard fence shortly after dark. ‘*What are you fellows doing around here?” “*Dat’s all right, guv- nor,” replied the leader huski “We's only engaged in one of our early spring manoo- vers."" GUILTY OF MASQUERADING, BUT WHAT COULD THE OFFICER DO? “SO FAR SO GOOD." Our American Ruins wit a grandiloquent wave of his hand, the guide exclaimed, “Ah, gentlemen, these are historic ruins! You have nothing like them in A ica. “‘No,’? sniffed the American contemp- tuously; ‘‘but our girls are rapidly an- nexing the ruins of the ancestors built them.” guys whose Trouble Coming. THE HAREM skirt is all right in its way, but we fear that in families where the income is only large enough to cover the expense of one pair of suspenders, it is likely to prove a source of trouble. comicbooks.com