Judge, 1911-04-08 · page 5 of 24
Judge — April 8, 1911 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several satirical pieces reflecting early 20th-century American concerns: **"Outraged Privilege"** depicts a wealthy automobile owner complaining to a sympathizer about "splashing an automobile"—apparently upset that his expensive car was damaged. The satire critiques the entitlement of the wealthy, who obsess over minor property damage while dismissing workers' concerns. **"The President Speaks"** and **"One He Overlooked"** present a husband-wife dialogue where she catalogs his numerous mistakes in life decisions (furniture, decorating, financial choices, marriage itself), while he seems oblivious. The satire mocks male privilege and lack of self-awareness. **"Uncle Sam on the Border"** references military/political conflict, likely related to early 20th-century border tensions. The overall theme emphasizes class privilege and male blindness to personal failings.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
M NN / SN eee The President Speaks. By AMOS R WELLS. 66] |NEASY lies the head that wears a crown."’ But crowns, I hear, are open at the top. The fear, the fret, the worry, and the frown Arise in such a head, but need not stop. On crowned heads the airs of heaven blow With due respect and soothing rever- ence; Whatever fever lurks in brains below, Through open crowns the breezes bear it thence. But, ah! what sizzling frets and torrid fumes, Like bacon frying in its own hot fat— What fireless-cooker misery consumes The head confined within a stovepipe hat! Use of Weapons. Knicker—Does she sharpen her pen- cil with your razor?” Bocker—Yes; but I clean my pipe with her hatpins.’’ OUTRAGED PRIVILEGE. Bystander (sympathizing with victim of splashing au- tomobile)— I know, sir, it's a confounded outrage. He splashed me, too."" Victim—" That's all very well, my friend. But— but—why, curse the scoundrel! / own a car worth three of his." One He Overlooked. ssyou HAVE pointed out my mis- takes in dress,’’ says the wife, “and my mistakes in buying furniture, and my mistakes in decorating the house, and my mistakes in making acquaint- ances, and my mistakes at bridge, and my mistakes in marketing—and all my mistakes you seem to be able to ob- serve."’ “Only because I feel it to be my duty, my dear,”’ explains the husband affably. “Well, I have often wondered how it happens you have never reminded me of my greatest mistake of all."” “Indeed? Have I overlooked it?”” “Yes, It was marrying you.’ Uncle Sam on the Border. HERE'S fight on the end of his beat, A fracas exceedingly neat; The Continent Cop Has gone down on the hop, And that is the whole of the feat. ‘OU CAN'T take things as they come if they come too fast. (Descriptive extract from a recent novel.) “HER HEAD WAS CROWNED WITH A MASS OF TANGLED LOCKS.” comicbooks.com