Judge, 1911-03-11 · page 9 of 24
Judge — March 11, 1911 — page 9: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple satirical pieces typical of early 20th-century Judge magazine humor: **Top comics**: A two-panel sequence showing a policeman discovering a corner lot for rent, then discovering someone has stolen the sign overnight—satirizing New York's rapid commercialism and petty theft. **Text pieces below**: Several short humorous anecdotes mocking marital discord and foolish behavior: - "A Straight Jab" ridicules a husband by having his wife reveal she's counting days *since* he arrived, not until he leaves - "Also Runs Down" jokes that even clocks (symbols of reliability) malfunction - "An Irresponsible Verselet" dedicates a poem to actor William Faversham and his wife, sardonically praising a theater couple who embrace regularly—because their kisses are literally performed onstage, not genuine affection - "The Coming Fool" mocks someone rocking an airship The humor targets marital coldness, urban chaos, and human foolishness—typical concerns of this genteel satirical magazine.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE COMING FOOL. ‘The fellow who rocks the airship. IN NEW YORK. TO RENT A FEW CHOICE OFFICES LEFT ON THE 38% Froor When he woke up next morning. A Straight Jab. oom JHAT are you he doing?” asks, seeing her in deep thought when he tells her that he is go- ing. ‘*Are you count- ing the days until you see me again?’’ \o,"’ she answers, with a sweetly cold inflection that plunges through and through him. ‘I am counting the days since you were here last.’ Also Runs Down. CERTAIN father was advising his son, who was way- ward, to settle down and be like the clock that plods steadily along. The son, how- ever, informed him that even the clock gets fast, HAT is a ‘phone without a number? An Irresponsible Verselet. Dedicated to Mr. and Mrs, William Faversham. [VE HEARD of married ladies who with mournful lamentation Rehearse their husbands’ backwardness in loving demonstration: “tHe does not kiss me good-by now; he leaves the breakfast table And hikes it to the subway just as fast as he is able.”* “He never puts a loving arm about my waist so taper, But every evening, stodgily, he catnaps o’er his paper.’’ These be the things that wives relate, with anger fierce and fell; But here’s a little story I'm a-going for to tell: For, oh, there is a married man who is a reg’lar model— Once every day he hugs his wife! And he’s no mollycoddle! He is an actor, starring in a drama on Broadway, And his wife’s his leading lady and his sweetheart in the play; And she can never, never say that he is cold and horrid, For every one can see that his embraces are—well—torrid! MOREOVER He hugs her twice on Saturday, Because they play a matinee! 5. x. v. FOOL and his auto are soon in need of repairs. comicbooks.com