Judge, 1911-03-11 · page 11 of 24
Judge — March 11, 1911 — page 11: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several satirical pieces typical of early 20th-century American humor: **Top Cartoon:** "After the Argument" depicts a domestic dispute where a wife hit her husband with a sugar bowl. Their child matter-of-factly requests liniment for "paw" and "china cement" for "maw"—satirizing working-class family violence as commonplace and requiring practical remedies. **Middle Section:** Technical advice about automobile suspension, humorously addressing the problem of "thank-you-ma'ams" (road bumps that jolted vehicles), reflecting early automotive culture's frustrations. **Poetry & Humor Pieces:** - "The Newer Botany" mocks poetic clichés about feminine beauty, with a woman rejecting romantic flattery by admitting her blonde hair is actually peroxide-dyed - "They Were Not Mates" jokes about a child mismatching stockings (one black, one red), punning on "twins" - Final quips about women needing dresses/hooks and gossip The page reflects Edwardian-era attitudes: domestic discord treated as comedy, early car culture anxieties, and cynicism toward romantic idealization.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
AFTER THE ARGUMENT. “* Paw wants a bottle o° liniment and maw wants a bottle o° china cement right away." ** All right, sonny What ‘s wrong ?”’ “ Maw hit paw with the sugar bowl,” down upon them and not to start upon your trip until this has thoroughly dried between yourself and the cushion. If the cushions are screwed down and your own garments are made of good, strong, durable mate , there is no reason why you should rise more than an inch at the moment of the impact with the zenith of the protuberance. The other course is perhaps less convenient, but it is equally sure, and consists in stopping * ing that can be done for him. your car whenever you are approaching a thank-you-marm and carefully remov- ing the rubber tires and the springs of your motor and leaving them off until you have passed the offending obstruc- tion. Of course if constant reader is one of these persons who are by nature full of bounce themselves, there is noth- Our reply is based upon the presumption that the trouble is entirely with the car itself. YOU NEVER MISS THE GASOLINE TILL THE TANK KUNS DRY. The Newer Botany. By EDMUND VANCE COOKE. H, SWEET bucolic maid,’’ he cried, “You whom the po- ets term ox- eyed, Although the term be hazy; Your hair is of that golden hue The daisy’s heart owns, so must you Be called an ox-eyed daisy !”” “Excuse me, youth,”’ the maid replied. ‘*But do you praise me or deride? Your words, indeed, are hazy. For let me tell you plainly, sir, I am that which I am, a per— A--well, peroxide daisy.”” They Were Not Mates. HE MOTHER of Bessie had in- structed her to get a pair of clean stockings for her father. The child re- turned in a moment with two of a differ- ent kind—one black and the other red. ‘‘Here’s some, mamma,” she said; “but they isn’t twins.” And Man Is the Hookworm. M‘X, MAY live without friends, Man may live without books; But woman can’t live without Dresses and hooks. LOT of society talk goes in one "phone and out the other, comicbooks.com