Judge — March 4, 1911 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Humorous Tit-Bits. Farmer (watching motor car)— “What's that thing stuck up on the side?” Chauffeur—‘That’s a spare tire in case one of the wheels goes wrong.’” Farmer—‘' Well, I've drove horses for almost twenty years, an’ I never carried a spare leg for one of them yet."” Fair one—‘*What a pity it is that handsome men are always so awfully conceited!" De Masher—‘‘Not always, my dear! Iam not." Lady —"And is yoar father working, my little man?” Little man—''1 s'pose so, mum. judge said ‘ard labor."” The “What is your idea of a heroine, John?” asked the wife of his bosom as she looked up from the novel she was reading. ‘A heroine, my dear,”” answered John, is a woman who could talk back, but doesn’t.’” “Sir,”’ said the poet, ‘‘T shall find an- other channel for my verses in future."’ “That's right replied the ever-cour- teous editor, ‘‘The English Channel would be a splendid place for 'em."* How to Furnish Your Home. HE newlyweds and all the rest of the good readers of Jupce who want to make their homes attractive can do so y, and on a most economical plan, y ng high-grade furnishings or stallments, as set forth in the large lustrated book sent free to any of our readers who will send a postal with his name and address to the Hartman Fur- niture and Carpet 18 N Wabash Ave.,Chicago, Ill. This is only one of the numerous attractive announcements in this issue of Jur Among other offers are the following: Free Prospectus of the New York Electrical School. Send a postai to that school at 60 West 17th St., New York. Free catalog of the Remoh, G. Remoh}Jewelry C na that look like 9 N. Broadway, Beautifully illustrated free magazine, describing ideal winter tripa. Write to the Atlantic Gulf and West Indies Steamship Co., 280 Broadway, New ork. Free booklet telling how to banish the tobe + habit, Address Elders’ Sanitarium, Dept. 43, 5 Joseph. Mo. The ruptured will be interested in the offer of a free trial of Plapao, Note announcement. The Wizard repeating liquid pistol, Will stop vicious dog oF Fifty cents. Note advertise- ment. Smoker: ‘Absorbo pipe. Costa fifty cents and money back if you don’t like it. Ad- dress Smoke Shop Specialties Co., 303 Main Street, Holyoke, Mass, Note the numerous announcements in this issue, and in answering advertise- ments favor us by mentioning that you are a reader of JupGE. ‘Mothers will tind Mrs, Winslow’ joothing Syrup the best remedy for their children. 25e. a bottle, He Got His. Standing by the entrance of a large estate in the suburbs of Glasgow are two huge dogs carved out of granite. An Englishman, going by in a hack, thought he would have some fun with the Scotch driver, “How often, Jock, do they feed those two big dogs?” “Whenever they bark, sir,’’ was the Straight-faced reply.—New York Times. “Lordy, Lordy!’ Youngstown Telegram. 3 a Union Increases Use When two groups of tele- phone subscribers are joined together the usefulness of each telephone is increased. Take the simplest case—two groups, each with three sub- scribers. As separate groups there are possible only six combinations—only six lines of communication. Unite these same two groups, and instead of only six, there will be fifteen lines of com- munication. No matter how the groups are located or how they are connected by exchanges, com- bination increases the useful- ness of each telephone, it multi- plies traffic, it expands trade. The increase isin accordance with the mathematical rule. If two groups of a thousand each are united, there will beamillion more lines of communication. No one subscriber can use all of these increased possibil- ities, but each subscriber uses some of them. Man: ‘oups of telephone suatribers have been united in the Bell System to increase the usefulness of each tele- phone, and meet the public de- mand for universal service. AMERICAN TELEPHONE AND TELEGRAPH COMPANY AND ASSOCIATED COMPANIES One System One Policy Universal Service He Knew. “Money talks, you know.”” “Yes, I married money.’’—London Throne. jt eeley' ->(€ure Grand Rapids, Mich. Cotambas, 0. un. Kansas City, Mo. Manchester.N.H. #12 ¥. Pi Marion. Ind. Lexington. Masa Portiand, Me. A Vulgar Pastime. “Really, motoring is quite common now. Why, even some of i are running around with u For Liquor and Drug Using A scientific remedy which has been skilfully and successfully administered by medical specialists for the past 31 years. At the following Keeley Institutes: Providence, 1 Columbia, Sait Lake City. Utad. Winnipeg, Manitoba. Londen, England. Philadelphia. Pa Broad St In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com reditors