Judge — March 4, 1911 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

FINEST BEER LVER BREWED Where Were the Rest? The eight-year-old son of a Baltimore physician, together with a friend, was playing in his father’s office, during the absence of the doctor, when suddenly the first lad threw open a closet door and disclosed to the terrified gaze of his lit- tle friend an articulated skeleton. When the visitor had sufficiently re- covered from his shock to stand the an- nouncement, the doctor’s son explained that his father was extremely proud of that skeleton. “Is he?’ asked the other. ‘‘Why?"’ “I don’t know,’’ was the answer; **maybe it was his first patient.’’—Har- per's Magazine. Puzzled. As she picked her hobbled way down the street, the observant man marked that she wore a black band about her golden hair, another about her alabaster throat. Her waist was circled by an- other band, while her martyred ankles were handcuffed with fashion’s latest crime—the hobble skirt. “IT wonder,’’ mused the man, ‘‘which one of ’em is her belt.’'"—Kansas City Star, If you can't smoke any other pipe, try the ABSORBO PIPE It draws out the bite. Only the delightful tobacco Gavor comes through the stem. All the good qualities cf block meerichaum at a toth the coat Ab- 50) sorts the nicotine and colors beautifuly. Price, 2UC- Ms as | MRS. STUBBINS, FROM THE COUNTRY, THINKS POLK IN LONDON “UNCOMMON SOCIABLE.” Democratic Trick. On the morning of election a farmer came into Hiram Morse’s blacksmith shop to have his horse shod. “Purty busy this mornin’, Bill?” in- quired Morse, as he raked the embers together on the forge. “Yep,’’ answered Bill. ‘‘Hain’t got hardly time ter go ter th’ village an’ vote.”” “‘Wa-al, I'm purty busy myself,”’ said Morse casually. ‘I'll tell yer what we'll do,’ he added, after a moment's thought. ‘*Long’s yer a Republican an’ I'm a Democrat, we'll pair off, jest as they do in Congress, an’ neither on us will vote. What do yer say? Bill agreed to the proposition, but after election it was found that the blacksmith had paired off with every Republican customer who had come into the shop.—Metropolitan Magazine. Every lover of od cocktail should call for Abbott's Bitters. Makes the best. He Got the Pass. “T want a pass “Pass? You're not entitled toa pass, You are not an employe. Sorry."” “‘No; but here the anti-pass law says free transportation can be granted to ‘necessary caretakers of live stock, poul- try, and fruit.’ Well, I’m going on this trip with an aunt that’s a hen—there’: your poultry; a girl that’s a peach— there’s your fruit; and a nephew that's a mule—there’s your live stock. Gimme a pass."’—Southwestern Book. No Way Out. “If we didn’t have to give back any change, think of the money we mer- chants would make.’ “We all have our troubles,’’ magazine publisher. ‘*Sometime frets me to have to print any r matter, but I s’pose it must be done Kansas City Journal. A Valuable Paper. Wife (reading)—‘‘After their separa- tion he sent hera legal document giving her control of their child.’’ Husband (with a deep sigh)—''I wish I knew where we could get a document that would give us control of our child!"" —Chicago News. —London Punch, First Choice. Mr. Jawback ly dear, I was one of the first to lea Mrs. Jawback—“‘Oh, you always say that."" Mr, Jawback—‘'! can prove it this time. Look out in the hall and see the beautiful umbrella I brought home.”’— Toledo Blade. Remedy for Red, ranulated Eyelids. omfort. Try Marine Weak, Watery E No Smarting—Ju His Innings. On a recent examination paper in civics was this question: ‘‘If the Presi- dent, Vice-President, and all the mem- bers of the Cabinet should die, who would officiate?”” Robert, a boy of twelve, thought for some time, trying in vain to recall who came next in succession, At last a happy inspiration came to him and he answered, ‘‘The undertaker.’’—House- keeper. Love of the Right Stamp. A collector of postage stamps, pos- sessing 12,544 specimens, desires to con- tract a marriage with a young lady, also a collector, who has the blue Maw stamp of 1847. No other need apply.— Advertisement in the Figaro. SAINT PAUL HOTEL SIXTIETH ST. & COLUMBUS AVENUE NEW YORK New 11-Story Fireproof Hotel, Beautifully Farnished One block from Central Park, Columbus Circle, Subway, and 6th and %th Ave. “L” Alll surface lines pass or transfer Telephone in every room. Stations. direct to hotel. | 100 Rooms, use of bath, $1.00 per day 150 Rooms, private bath, $1.50 perday Suites, parlor, bedroom, bath, $2.50 and upward Restaurant a Ia Carte. JOHN W. WHEATON, Proprictor In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com