Judge — February 25, 1911 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ANENT GEORGE W. By ELLIS PARKER BUTLER OW, children,”’ said the pomp- ous school warden, ‘‘you all know my name is G. W. Fir- kin. Can any little boy or girl tell me what G. W. stands for?’” “Please, sir,"’ said the sweet little girl with blue hair ribbons, ‘‘my father u stand for rotten politics’’—— No,”’ said Mr. Firkin, with a pained expression. ‘“G. W. stands for George Washington. Now, children, why was Inamed after George Washington?” “Because he was dead and couldn't chopped down the cherry tree, ain’t it, Mr. Firkin?” ‘No,’ smiled Mr. Firkin. “Because his dad walloped him,’’ ven- tured the boy with the sore toe. “Because he didn’t tell a lie,"’ said the little girl in the pink gingham dress. “Children,’’ said Mr. Firkin, ‘‘you are all wrong. It was because George Wash- ington made us a free people. And now I am going to tell you something—some- thing that will surprise you! The cherry- tree story isonly a fable! George Wash- ington did not cut down the cherry tree!’" ANOTHER DELUSION EXPLODED. Distressing scene at the meeting of comic artists, editors and humorous writers when Professor Gimlett, who for two years had been making an exhaustive analysis of a splinter of the tree which George Washington had cut down, made the positive statement that it was “of a cherry tree, but a lemon tree holler about it,’’ said the red-headed boy. “No, no!’’ said Mr. Firkin uneasily. “Because my dear parents wished to show their veneration for the father of his country. Now, why do we venerate George Washington?” ecause he swore at General Le said the boy with the warts. “Oh, no, indeed!" said Mr. Firkin, shocked. ‘*Why is this schoolroom decorated with flags to-da: se, sir,’’ said the little girl with blue hair ribbons, ‘‘my father says it is because you had Some moth-eaten flags on hand, and you are boss of the school and so you sold the flags in’t so!"’ said the red-headed boy. is because George Washington “Who done it?"’ asked the red-headed boy. “No one,”’ said Mr. Firkin. ‘There was no” “Then George lied when he told his pa he done it,’? said the boy with the warts. “Oh, no!’ said Mr. Firkin. ‘*The father of his country would not lie? —— “Please, sir,"’ asked the little girl with the blue hair ribbons, ‘‘did his father wallop him for not cutting it down?”’ “No,” said Mr. me. I say”’— “His father walloped him because there wasn’t no tree to cut down, didn’t he, Mr. Firkin?"’ said the boy with the sore toe. “Children,’’ said Mr. Firkin, ‘‘under- stand me! George Washington's father did not ‘wallop’ him, as you phrase itv— “Why didn’t he?"’ asked the boy with the red hai “Because hesitated. “If there wasn’t no tree,’’ said the boy with the warts, ‘‘why didn’t George Washington tell his father there wasn't no tree? What for did he tell him he cut it down, if there wasn’t no tree?’” ““Aw!'’ sneered the red-headed boy, “the told him he cut it down so he would get walloped.”” ‘Please, sir,’’ said the girl in pink gingham, “‘how could George Washing- ton cut down a cherry tree that wasn’t there?” He—he didn’t,’’ said Mr. Firkin, wiping his forehead. “Then why did he say he did?’’ asked the girl with the blue hair ribbons. —Mr. Firkin began, and EMULATIVE, “* Wrat you choppin’ dat old cherry tree down fer, Willie?”” “I dunno, sis ; but a feller named George Washington chopped one down once, an’ it made him famous."” comicbooks.com