Judge, 1911-02-25 · page 17 of 24
Judge — February 25, 1911 — page 17: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several unrelated short humorous pieces typical of early 20th-century satirical magazines. **"Somnambulistic Stunts"** (top): A cartoon depicting a sleepwalker in pajamas causing household chaos while family members react. **"What He Could Do"**: A narrative joke about a returning wanderer who wants to spend newfound wealth helping his stubborn father improve the family farm—lifting mortgages, rebuilding structures, buying livestock. The father refuses everything until finally accepting one modest gift: a corncob pipe. The satire targets immigrant or rural stubbornness and resistance to progress/improvement. **"The Very Latest"**: A brief joke about a fashionable modern wedding where congratulations arrive by wireless (radio) and the couple honeymooned by airplane—mocking contemporary technological obsession. **"Improved by Age"**: A quip about marrying off a daughter to an elderly earl, suggesting older aristocrats are preferable because some are "decent." **"Mary had an Aeroplane"**: A brief verse about an airplane crash. The page reflects pre-WWI American attitudes toward rural life, modern technology, and marriage prospects.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
l hovelor—'* Wake up, you crazy idiot, and come to bed! SOMNAMBULISTIC STUNTS. What He Could Do. By ALB. LEWIS, HE WANDERER had returned after an ynce of twenty “Dad,” he joy- sly exclaimed, “I money to burn, and I'm going to spend it in chunks right here. The first thing . to be done is to lift that mortgage from the farm."" “You let that mortgage !" an- grily ordered the father. If I didn’t hev sunthin’ to make me hump myself, I couldn't I'll rebuild this old, ramshackle went on the son enthusiastically. Vhy, I'll make it the finest residence in the county.’” “Don't you touch a stick of this home- boy!" and the old man scowled. 3 good enough for my dad and it's good enough for me."’ “But, look here, dad, I’m rich, and I want to do something handsome for you. Let me put ten thousand dollars’ worth of livestock on the farm, won't you?”’ ‘arnashun, no! It’sall I kin do now to milk five cows and look after the chickens. Don’t you go to upsettin’ things here."" “But can’t I do something for you, dad?" “Nothin’, son.’” “Can't I build a new barn “That barn’s all right.” “*But—but'’—— “*Wa-al, boy,’’ broke in the old man, “if you’re bound and determined to spend your wealth, I s’pose I'll hev to give in, seein’ you’ve bin away from us so long.” ood, dad! What shall it be?” “*Fust time you go to town, you might bring me a corncob pipe."” on Improved by Age. ee UT DON’T you think the earl is rather too old for your daugh- Not a bit of it. The older the bet- ter, I've seen some old earls who were rather decent,"* MARY, bad an aeroplane, With wings as white as snow— They're picking up the pieces now, Because it wouldn't go. You 'v> got furnace-on-the-brain.” The Very Latest. 66WES, they had an up-to-date wed- ding.” “What do you mean by that?”” “They received congratulations by wireless and took their wedding trip on an aeroplane.”’ LOVERS and burglars welcome dark- ness. 4 “ALL PUFFED UP.” comicbooks.com