Judge — February 18, 1911 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

WHY NOT? The Feline Fur-cleaning Association. Force of Habit. UNITED STATES district attorney, ata banquet, once spoke of hon- esty: ‘‘Are we coming to such a pass that our ideas of an honest man_ will correspond to the idea of old Hiram Strood? Hiram Strood for the seventh time was about to fail. He called in an expert accountant to disentangle his books. The accountant, after two days’ work, announced to Hiram that he would be able to pay his creditors four cents on the dollar. At this news the old man looked vexed, ‘Heretofore,’ he said, frowning, ‘I have always paid ten cents on the dollar.’ A virtuous and benevolent expression spread over his face. ‘And I will do so now,’ he re- sumed. ‘I will make up the difference out of my own pocket.’""—Blue Bull. Sliced Oranges with adash of Abbott's Bitters are appetizing and healthful. Sample by mail, 25 ets. instamps. C. W. Abbott & Co., Baltimore, Md. Tragedy. She'll be married to-night! And I'll be there to see The fun and the tears and the joy. She'd be hurt, to be sure, were I absent ~—for she Was my playmate when I was a boy. My playmate! Ah, yes, and the chum of my youth, And my ideal, as years took their flight— The one girl of all that I cared for, in truth— And she’s going to be married to- night! Does she dream how it’s hurting my ‘art to be there? Can she guess all the anguish I'll feel? She may look in my eyes—will she know, will she care For the pain that my face may reveai? Will she note if I shudder in sudden affright At the solemn words sealing my doom? Will she pity me? Ab, who can tell? For to-night She'll be married. groom! And I am the —Boston Traveler. | | I Furs cleaned by an entirely new and natura! process. Londoa Panch, A Quick Trip. The young son of a prominent railway | man was playing with the drawing-room chairs one afternoon when his father en- tered, accompanied by a gentleman whom the child had never particularly fancied. As the visitor took a chair, the boy remonstrated. ‘I beg your pardon, sir, but this is a train of cars."’ “Very well, my son,’’ was the answer. “I'll be a passenger.” But the youngster didn’t want grown-up for a passenger, so he said, “Where do you wish to get off?” “Cincinnati.” “All right,’’ said the boy. Cincinnati.’’"—Red Hen. the “This is Favorite Fiction. “Your Face Is Familiar and I Can Almost Call Your Name."’ “IT Hate the Taste of the Stuff, but My Doctor Says I Need a Toni “Why, Papa, My Belt Isn’t Tight! See How Loosely It Fits!" Your Most Obedient Servant, J. Brown."" “All Wool Garments Our Specialty.”" > “We, the Representatives of the Peo- ple of This District, in Convention As- sembled. “We Expect To Prove an Alibi, Your Honor, by a Dozen Reputable Wit- nesses.""—Chicago Tribune. { Why the Snake Suffered. A contributor writes about a story of | 2 recently printed, you,” he said, ‘‘that the snake was twenty feet long, and you had it in as only ten feet. The editor begs to explain that the error was unavoidable. JUDGE was very crowded that week and everything had to be cut down, A Quick Sidestep. | Merchant (to widow)—‘'I am willing to buy your husband’s working busin: and good-will for five thousand dollars Widow—*Well, but I happen to be part of the working business.’” Merchant—*Then I'll take only the good-will.’’—Fliegende Blaetter. $2.00 Prepaid ET in kine with the best dressed men in, America. ‘Wear the new cloth Alpine—the sensation of the Sold only by exctusive stores in New lladelphia tor $3.00 or more. We send Band doth a bat. Colors— Black aad ORY striped; Light Wtrioed: Brows sriped. ‘Price $2.00, express pre od. your money back if you don't ike the hal Send for Style Book of Hats and Caps Free. FRENCH POCKET HA’ G4 South 8th Street, HALF THE COST OF IMPORTED Of the Six Ameri- can Champagnes Exhibited, Great Western was the Only OneAwarded the Gold Medal at Paris Exposition, 1900. Your Grocer or Dealer Can Supply You Sold Everywhere Pleasant Valley Wine Co. Rheims, N. Y. SAINT PAUL HOTEL SIXTIETH ST. & COLUMBUS AVENUE NEW YORK New 11-Story Fireproof Hotel, Beautifully Furnished One block from Central Park, Columbus Circle, Subway, and 6th and 9th Ave. "L” Stations. All surface lines pass or transfer direct to hotel. Telephone in every room. 100 Rooms, use of bath, $1.00 per day 150 Rooms, private bath, $1.50 perday Suites, parlor, bedroom, bath, $2.50 and upward Carte. » Proprietor Restaurant JOHN W. WHEATO! NEXT WEEK Judge Birthday Number Order now from your Newsdealer In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com