Judge, 1911-02-04 · page 10 of 24
Judge — February 4, 1911 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several short humor pieces typical of early 20th-century Judge magazine. **"An Old Valentine"** is the main feature—a nostalgic poem about a rural man recalling how he sent a valentine to a girl he admired, only to discover she'd sent him an identical one, leading to their eventual marriage. The dialect verse celebrates old-fashioned romance and courtship. **The other brief jokes** mock contemporary social types: - "Both Upholstered" plays on wives' padding (literal and figurative) - "Musical Heredity" satirizes pretension—a man claims to have inherited musical talent through his grandfather's bass drumming and his father's work collecting installment piano payments (suggesting unearned claims to refinement) - "Fooling the Flirt" depicts a maid rejecting a lady-killer's advances - "In Salome Costume" compares theatrical performances The illustrated cartoon on the right shows "The Actual Shape of the Garth" (likely "garth" meaning enclosed courtyard or body)—appears to be fashion or body-shaming satire, though the specific reference is unclear.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
An Old Valentine. By Charles Irvin Juntin, m o6 FUNNY old A thing?’’ Well, I reckon It looks rather fun- ny to you. Them old - fashioned things ain't s’ handsome, An’ this one is fad- ed some, too; Them cupids was Ny pinker an’ cuter, Pe An’, my! but the 9 roses was sweet! I tell y’, but I was s’ tickled I thought it jest couldn't be beat! Yer ma was a-gettin’ right biggish, An’ I was some older than her, An’ purt, ke ly eyes! she was purty! pin’ the boys in a stir. Tom Drake an’ Jack Ford was good- smarter’n me, A-talkin’ an’ jokin’ an’ in’, An’ I was down-he Fer I was s’ clumsy an’ homely An’ not much fer study er books, An’ she was the champion speller An’ beatin’ 'em all in good looks. An’ Valentine’s Day was a-comin’, ‘An’ I was a-leavin’ that spring, A-wishin’ I only could git her, An’ feared of ‘most any old thing. O’ course I had nerve fer t’ send her A valentine, best I could git; But when I got inter the school house I tell y’ I most had a fit; Fer right on my desk it was layin’, The very same one y've got there! I tell y’ it made me feel funny, An’ I must ’a’ looked foolish fer fair! An’ then I looked over at Polly, A-wishin’ what every one knows; An’ when she saw I was a-lookin’, She blushed jest as red as a rose! An’ that, y’ might say, was the startin’— The startin’ fer me an’ fer mine; An’ that’s why I think it’s real purty, That old-fashioned valentine! Both Upholstered. AYING aside the daily paper, Mrs. Brown observed, “‘A padded overcoat saved a man’s life in an automobile accident."* “Yes,’’ replied Mr. Brown; ‘‘and the article mentions that his wife, who was struck on the hips, also escaped serious injury.’’ Fooling the Flirt. 66 AH, PRETTY one,’’ fawned the lady-killer, ‘did I not see you waving your handkerchief out of the window at me?” “You flatter yourself,”’ icily retorted the maid. ‘‘I was merely shaking out a dust cloth."’ Musical Heredity. 66\WOU HAVE a music!"? we who is humming an aria from ‘‘Tann- hauser."’ “Did you ever study it?” ‘No,’’ he explains, ‘‘I inherited it. My grandfather pla; the bass drum during the Civil War and my father handled the collections for an install- ment piano house.”” splendid ear for y to our friend, In Salome Costume. ee AVE you seen Margaret Anglin in ‘Green Stockings’?”” “No; but I've seen Mary Garden in none at all."” Style of Living. Knicker—'* Does keep house?"” Jones open es; but a closed bank.’’ A VALENTINE—SOME SAY IT'S A LEMON. comicbooks.com