Judge — January 28, 1911 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

First Aid to Young Parents. By EDWIN L. SABIN. p ABIES are classified as of two distinct varieties—your own babies and other people’s babies; and they are subdivided by science into male and female, or, spe- cifically, ‘‘he’’ and ‘‘she,’’ but generally known and designated as ‘‘it."" Babies have been occurrences in all families where there are children, and need cause no great confusion if simple directions are followed. Babies will be recognized upon arrival by avery high complexion and a persist- ent squeak. If the complexion pales, but the squeak continues, nobody should feel perturbed. There is no known method to be rec- ommended of oil- ing the squeak, although milk is sometimes a tem- porary lubricant. The squeal is no indication of pain or disorder, be- yond the usual friction of parts incidental to all new mechanism. Babies ordered in the Johnny brand are quite apt to come in the Mamie brand, and vic This is a cireum- stance which not yet has been placed under absolute control, and, in fact, re- mains a secret of the original inventor. versa, ABSENT-MINDED OLD LADY—" TRANSFER. PLEASE.” A SHOW GIRL. The difficulty may be partially obviated by selecting a flexible name, such as George — Georgiana, Theodore — Theo- dora, Ethel—Ethelbert, Henry—Henri- etta; and this is frequently done. Thus the laundry mark in advance upon collar and cuffs and shirt waists need not be altered, and the souvenir spoon for the first birthday may be definitely engraved. Attention has been called to the orig- inal package having a preponderance of red, The top, however, may be black. But the red and the black are not guar- anteed permanent. The red will fade on exposure to the light and will settle into pink and white. The black will come off. This black is hair. In the loss of such hair, which frequently is much prized by the unsophisticated new own- ers of the baby, there need be no disap- pointment, chagrin, nor alarm. Babies are not furnished supplied with regulation visible teeth; if occasionally a tooth is present upon first inspection of the mouth, it has slipped out by mis- take and should be removed before the baby swallows it. The law of private and public safety demands the prohibi- tion of teeth while the baby is in transi’ But the teeth, a complete set, are packed inside and will come to light in due time. The baby’s motive power is milk, preferably of home production, delivered direct from the producer to the con- sumer. The imported article is not so good, and babies should be received with that understanding. Many babies seem to have a predilection for their own toes —-an apparently atavistic, cannibalistic instinct which does not in the least re- flect upon the manufacturers, is not a blemish, and does not indicate that the baby will not be, as ordered, a presi- dent, bishop, poetess, or colonial dame. But herein will be seen the wisdom of the provision against supplying teeth in transit or having them in place immedi- comicbooks.com