Judge, 1911-01-28 · page 7 of 24
Judge — January 28, 1911 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several short satirical pieces typical of early 20th-century humor: **"The Man Under the Bed"** plays on the common Victorian anxiety about intruders—Miss Simpson routinely checks under her bed. The punchline: it's just a vacuum cleaner operator doing spring cleaning, deflating both romantic and sinister expectations. **"The Whitest"** mocks the common social lie "Please call again," suggesting it's the most frequent dishonesty. **Fashion cartoons** ("Eve an' Dress Then / Even-in' Dress Now") contrast natural, loose clothing with the restrictive "hobble skirt" trend of the era—a fashionable but impractical garment that severely limited women's movement. **"The Ten Little Bohemians"** is a parody of "Ten Little Indians," tracking bohemian artists/writers who abandon their artistic community when they achieve success (selling work, getting wealthy, moving away). The final marriage destroys the group entirely—a satirical jab at bohemian lifestyle instability and conventionality's inevitability. The humor relies on topical references (hobble skirts, bohemian culture) now requiring historical context.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
as The Man Under the Bed. ISS MELISSA SIMP- SON had regularly looked under her bed for — odd years. In all that time she had never found a man under it. People often laughed at her, but she did not care and went on looking under her bed each day. Years went by without the expected happening. Then, on this day, she went into the bedroom of her luxuriously furnished home and was standing at the window when she heard an unmistakable sound. It was under her bed and just the sound she expected. Without a sign of fear she turned on the lights and, walking over to the bed, turned up the draperies. “How are you getting along?’’ she called out, without a quaver. “I'm almost through,’ came back a muffled voice. “That is good,"’ she returned calmly and walked out of the room. For it was spring housecleaning time and the man was operating a vacuum cleaner. A Question. 66NJIGHT fell,”’ the poet read. “What brought the lady down?” The flippant jokesmith said. “Pray tell us, did she trip Upon her hobble gown Or did her bolster slip?” NEC, Qe EVE AN’ DRESS ya Y nN) JE *s if SEP ODy a The Whitest. F ALL“‘white lies’ Of tongue or pen, Most frequent is, “Please call again.” Procedure. Knicker—‘‘Has the snow been removed?”’ Bocker—‘No; they are waiting for it to resign.’” A Good Guess. oe AVE you any H idea who it was that first used the phrase, ‘single bless- but I'll ven- ture to say that he was the father of twins.”” . 66 OMAN has a ENE A POKER TERM—" TWO PAIR, QUEENS UP.” chance now of becoming superior to man.”” “Why?” “The hobble skirt compels her to leave more ‘footprints on the sands of time.’ ’” A Momentous Moment. HERE are moments when one wants to be alone, and one of those mo- ments is when a fellow’s suspend- ers break right in the middle of a two- step. 4 a; ‘e EVEN-IN’ DRESS Then. THE HABIT. Now, wv RUNS 2 ed 7 Hip NRG The Ten Little Bohemians. by E,W. TEITZEL Ts SMALL Bohemians a friendship combine ; A fortune was left to one, then there were nine. Nine small Bohemians, staying up late; One sold a novel, then there were eight. Eight small Bohemians thought they were in heaven; One bought a country place, then there were seven. Seven small Bohemians, one painted “The Styx’’; Sold it to a millionaire, then there were six. Six small Bohemians, glad to be alive; One went back to the farm, then there were five. Five small Bohemians, wishing they Were more; One set sail for gay Paree, then there were four. Four small Bohemians, happy and care- free; One had a play produced, then there were three. Three small Bohemians, to their ideals true; One became an editor, then there were two. Two small Bohemians, outlook rather done; One took an ocean trip, then there was one. One small Bohemian, too lonely for fun; He got married, and then there was none! comicbooks.com