Judge, 1911-01-21 · page 6 of 24
Judge — January 21, 1911 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several distinct satirical pieces from an early 20th-century American magazine: **"The Court Finds"** references a Reno divorce verdict, likely alluding to Nevada's then-liberal divorce laws. The joke suggests that staying single is preferable to marriage. **"How To Clean House (For Men)"** is absurdist humor mocking husbands' incompetence at housework—suggesting ridiculous "solutions" like sending windows to the laundry or painting over dirt rather than cleaning properly. **"His Idea"** jokes about a man's ideal vacation being his mother-in-law's six-month European absence—a common complaint about in-laws. **"If Prices Advance"** satirizes wartime or post-war inflation, showing a baker charging full price for apple pie containing no apples, letting customers merely "look at them" while eating pastry—commentary on scarcity and price-gouging. **"L'Envoi of Love Letters"** is a Kipling-esque poem about the afterlife, suggesting devoted letter-writers receive heavenly reward. The page blends domestic humor, social commentary on marriage/divorce, and economic satire typical of Judge's early-century editorial voice.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
The Court Finds— RENO verdict, this— No matter what is said, When singleness is bliss, ‘Tis folly to stay wed." How To Clean House. (For Men.) OUSECLEANING time is dreaded justly by a great many people, but the thoughtful husband may get it through with in short order. Washing windows, for instance, is always gone about in such an awkward way, the win- dows being washed in statu quo, so to speak. A simpler way is to take the windows out and send them to the laun- dry. Dusting the pictures is also usually attended with much hard work. A quick and simple plan is to take hold of the frame firmly and swing the picture back and forth, hitting it sharply against the wall each time. This dislodges the dust, which falls to the floor and may easily be swept up. If you have no vacuum cleaner, you may improvise one with an old bicycle pump by attaching a funnel to the noz- zle. Then work the pump backward, so that, instead of forcing the air out, it will be drawn in. The rugs may soon be cleaned in this way. Washing the woodwork is another futile procedure. Simply get a few gallons of paint and paint over the grime on the woodwork. To repolish the hard- wood floors, take your wife’s manicure buffer and fortable position and go to work. You will dat what a ay this will t down in a com- pleasant be to while vay the evenings. His Idea. oe HAT is your idea of a really perfectly good time, Bjinks?"’ asked Bjon- son, meeting the little chap at the club. “Seeing my moth- er-in-law off to Europe for six months,"’ said Bjinks, without any hesitation whatever. 66 A ND DOES your A new minister attend faithfully tohis duties?” asks the visitor. yes!” replies the parishioner. “I understand he keeps going all the time, » making pas- teurized calls. near! WILLINGNESS OF SPIRIT. Polite Mr. Monk (to Miss Hippo, who has just entered car)—‘‘ Permit me, madam, to offer you my seat.” IF PRICES ADVANCE. “ Say, this apple pie has no apples in it."” “* Apples are so high we can only let you look at them while you eat the pastry.” L’Envoi of Love Letters. (With ackoowledements to Radyard Kipliog.) By LIDA KECK WIG WHEN earth’s last love note is writ- ten and the ink is blotted and INS. 1 has vanished and youngest sweetheart has died, We shall rest, and, faith! we shall need it--lie down for an eon or two Till the master of loving missives shall set us to work anew. And those who wrote well shall be happy; th I] sit in a satin chair, y all w: de luxe edition of to an angel's hair. They shall find real s to write to Rebecca, and Doreas, and Ruth They shall work for an age at a sitting, and never say more than the truth. jov And only the master shall praise us, and only the master shall blame; And none shall propose for money, and none shall make love for fame. But each for the joy of loving, and each n his separate star, | write, to the girl he loves truly his thoughts as they really are! comicbooks.com