Judge, 1911-01-21 · page 18 of 24
Judge — January 21, 1911 — page 18: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
**Top Cartoon:** "Hurrah, Boys! Spring Has Come at Last!" depicts children celebrating spring around a large wooden barrel and cactus in a rural setting. This illustrates the accompanying article's satire about an overly polite, deferential weather forecaster who apologetically describes Tuesday's unpleasant conditions as if requesting permission from "the American people" to deliver bad news. The joke mocks bureaucratic over-politeness and the absurdity of a weather official treating meteorology as a democratic process requiring majority approval. **Text Pieces:** Three brief humorous anecdotes follow: - A man crediting his wife for his success is interrupted by her claiming he gives away her property - A debate between a spender and saver about dishonesty - A poem parodying classic literature, featuring "Phoebe Slush" on "the Road of Dynamite" - A final joke about a lawyer willing to break his principle of honesty only to tell the judge the complete truth The page satirizes American manners, marital dynamics, and legal ethics through light social commentary typical of *Judge* magazine's humor.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
COON HRD: Ayes ITO il wll {i ra UT SSS Neggifitits Metis: SK OW RASS Ih Ea: \ Ws n R MA TU . SUN FANN AA QQ AWduaes RAN XQ QAR Dean He STH SG SNA, “HURRAH, BOYS! SPRING HAS COME AT LAST!" In the Millennium. When Our Weather Man Becomes Polite. F IT suit the great American people, Tuesday will be a bit blustry. Your hum- ble weather prog- nosticator would beg of you to remember that winter is now upon us and that the unpleasant days have been held off as long as possi- ble. If it is the will of the majority, the morning will open up with sun, grow a bit troubled by noon, then cloud over rapidly until, by the middle of the afternoon, the atmospheric conditions will make a fire seem more cheerful than usual. The man behind your weather bureau would remind you that this is the best he can do by you, and that, by beginning with a fair morning and have the day grow clouded as the hours pass away, a sudden change is thus avoided and many ruffled nerves are saved. On ac- count of the extreme lateness of the season, the bureau would call the fact to your attention that many worse days have been experienced at this time of the year, and that it has striven hard to suit the majority. A little fortitude and patience on your part will make the day slip by much more quickly, and the state of mind with which you receive it that morning, the department would point out, determines in a great way whether or not the day drags heavily on your hand. Truth Will Out. EING called to his feet unexpectedly at the gathering and asked to re- spond informally to the toast, ‘‘The Ladies,’’ Mr. Gilfers hemmed and hawed and began, “My friends, all that I am, all that I have in the world, I owe to a woman my wif Here he was interrupted by that lady herself, who arose and said, “T told you, when you put the property in my name, you'd give it away first time you opened your mouth."* Speaking of Maxims. T= SPENDER, with an ill-concealed sneer, handed this maxim to the saver: ‘‘Some people are so stingy that they are dishonest.” “And, by the same token,"’ responded the saver, with a raw laugh, ‘‘some peo- ple are so liberal that they are dishonest. Count them up, please, and see, in these days of liberal spending, which side has the majority."’ A Classic Made Over. PON the Road of Dynamite Rode Phoebe Slush, with great de- light. There came a flash, there came a flight. Quoth she, ‘*This road is out of sight!"* Views of Optimist and Pessimist. Howell —** Fortune knocks once at every man’s door.”’ Powell—* While misfortune keeps on THE PENALTY “* What did your lawyer say to you ?"” * He was angry, and said if I told him one falsehood to strengthen my case he would do something he has never done before—tell the judge the whole truth,"” comicbooks.com