Judge — January 14, 1911 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Witherup’s Dream Book. Compltled from Actual Experiences by Anne Warrington Witherup. F YOU dream that you are playing Des- demona, in Shake- speare’s tragedy of “Othello,” to the Moor of Sam Bern- ard or Mr. Edwin Foy, and on waking find yourself standing on your head with a lot of bed clothes covering your mouth, it is a pretty sure sign that your folding-bed is out of order. If you dream that a young man with pink eyebrows, wearing a hobble skirt, comes dashing up to your window on an aeroplane and begs you to elope with him and become his cook, it is a sign that you are no exception to the rule that cold Welsh rabbits and lemonade taken too copiously before retiring are not healthful. If you dream that the trustees of your new town library have written you, ask- ing you if you will not undertake to write enough novels and poems during the next three weeks to fill seventy-five yards of bookcase space, in response to the popular demand for your writings, it is an omen that before the week is over you will see Mr. Carnegie’s name mentioned in some one of the news- papers. If you dream that, while riding with your chauffeur in your motor, it suddenly turns into a steam-roller going at the rate of sixty-seven miles an hour, under the guidance of a chauffeur who looks like an ex-President of the United States, it is asign that there is a jolt of some kind coming to you within the next five years. If on avery cold winter's night you dream that you have fallen into a fiery furnace, and on waking find that the room is full of smoke and that sparks are coming out of the register connected with the furnace, it is a sign that you would better get up as quickly as you can and either yell for help or turn the hose on. If you dream that you are in a green wood somewhere, lying upon the soft spills of a pine tree, listening to angelic voices singing strange but weirdly beau- tiful music, and upon emerging from sleep find an actual voice echoing in your ears from the front area of your house, it is a pretty sure omen that the milkman has arrived and is trying to acquaint you with the fact. If you dream that, while crossing the ferry from Camden to Philadelphia, you have caught sight of General George Washington eloping over the Delaware with one of Laura Jean Libbey’s hero- ines, while Dr. Johnson, sitting in the RURAL POLITICS. Si Narrowmind—"' Yer can't git me ter vote fer that man. Bill Feedowell—"' How is he a dude?" No sir, he 's too much of a dood."’ Si Narrowmind—" Wa-al, be pernounces pun-kin with a‘m/' an’ a‘ p' tot.’ HIS WIFE BROKE THEM “* Ha, ha, Bill, what was it, automobile ? by: New Year's resolution.'’ “Yes. Resolved never to let my wife bluff me." stern, reads aloud to them pleasing lit- tle selections from the telephone book, it is safe to assume that your reading habits are ill-formed and need a drastic course in concentration. If you dream that your mother-in-law has lived with you for a year without suggesting that the piano would look better in any other corner than the one it occupies or intimating that what you need is not a vacation, but to have a vacuum cleaner passed two or three times across your brain pan, it is a sign that your subconscious mind is having a little joke at your expense. If you dream that a committee of the tradesmen with whom you deal, consist- ing of the butcher, the baker, the gas- man, and the milkman, representing the Associated Shopkeepers of the vicinity, have called at your residence to present you with a golden loving-cup as a token of their esteem, you may regard it as a certain indication that they will not ob- ject to an early settlement of their over- due accounts, If you are an absent-minded person and dream that you have gone to bed with your boots on, and on waking dis- cover that you actually have done so, it is an infallible sign that you would bet- ter rise immediately and take them off. Boston Repartee. Kind old lady (to little boy crying over a cut finger)—*‘ What's the matter, Eddie?" Eddie (sobbing) matter."’ Kind old lady never mind."” Eddie—‘‘I never do.” “There isn’t any “Well, then, dear, ‘HERE will be one form of capital punishment that will never be abol- ished, and that is living in Washington. comicbooks.com