Judge — January 7, 1911 — page 9: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Says Annie. By Edmund Vance Coote Y GAYS Annie to Si ie, **Did- Said the custom- er, “Please, are you busy? She’s goanto- I heard it from Liz- git married; Was you lookin’ for somethin’? in’t got that kind; but this will do ‘s quite thirty-four, so I hope that it’s true,”” Says Annie. ‘Yes, ma’am, and I’ 'm sure that it fits you real nicely Says Fanny, older."” = “No; thirty-four, that’s what it ig, just precisely — Oh, it fits you real swell on the shoul- der. You wear thirty-six? what you got. I said thirty-four? Oh, did not. thought she Yes’m, that’s no, ma'am, I “If it's Tom, I must say he’s a little too Annie to Fannie. ‘Er, what did you ast? Too pronounce it’s the 12. No, indeed, hit of the What I said? Oh, I said that the color is fast— Ain’t it strange the idees that they get?”” whispered Annie “Is n goin’ to quit workin'?"’ asked Fannie. “T dunno. Seven dollars must look pretty good Beg pardon! Oh, yes Send it? Yes'm. Five misunderstood ! id that the price was eleven. gone, after talkin’ lookin’ all night. These folks that do nothin’ but talk are a fright,” 's just seven. two-—-oh, you and We ~ Bre ROCA SG = was , The Circus Press Agent's Love Letter. On the Jump, All the Time, 1911, Uncrowned M* Queen —- You asked me if I truly loved you. Foolish Question, Foolish Question! Will the lady win the chariot race? Will the con- cert follow the Big Show? Sure! Why, my love for you is Substan- so Great, tial, Superb, and Colossal that it Sumptuous, AN ILLUSTRATED is impossibleof Du- AN JLLUSTRAT! plication or of Coun- terfeiting by the Multitudinous small loves of this or other climes, Absolutely New from Be- ginning to End. Twice Larger than any other Love ever heretofore attempted. My Love as presented to you this season is Remarkable in its Completeness, abso- lutely Unabridged, and without the Slightest Detail missing. Absolutely the most Gigantic Love ever conceived, so Beautiful, Brilliant, and Imposing that It cannot be Pictured or Described, and is Simply Impossible of Verbal De- lineation. It is without doubt the Crowning Feature in Love Affairs of the Twentieth Century. And that You, the most Entrancing, Beautiful, Dashing, Petite, and Wonder- ful Woman in all the Wide, Wide World, whose Loveliness is as far Greater than our Fairy Land Ideals and Fabled Hero- THE TALK OF THE TOWN. Groom “* Gee! I'll bet that 's that Plymouth Rock they are always talking about here in Boston.”’ Orme KEL EMAH ines as is the Big Show than the Punch and Judy, should ever dream of loving one like myself is Absolutely and Posi- tively Inconceivable and Phenomenally Delightful. So it would seem that when two peo- ple should Love with Loves so Gigantic, Unparalleled, Original, Amazing, Un- equaled, and Astonishing, and that, more Remarkable yet, these Unperish- able and Colossal Loves should be for Each Other, am I not Justified in saying Absolutely and Positively that, when such Loves as these are Consolidated under one Roof, the Whole Wide Earth will unite in declaring this the Greatest of All Loves, Towering High above All other Loves, Matchless in its Proud Place of Command, Worth coming Miles and Miles to Behold, a Love that is Growing Greater and Grander year by year, until at last— Oh, gee, kid! I can hardly wait for the band to play “Home, Sweet Home,’’ for then it’s the .ittle Church Around the Corner’’ for You and Me. Am I Right? Sure! The Press Agent. The Evolution. Brown—“'Do you believe in the theory of evolution?’’ Black—Sure thing! For six years a young fellow named Jones has been call- ing on my daughter, and to-day she be- came Mrs, Jones,”” T’S A GOOD thing that good things come slowly, otherwise they wouldn’t be so good. comicbooks.com