Judge — January 7, 1911 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

WILL IT EVER COME TO THIS? “ See here, man, this watch you sold me to-day has stopped twice since at twelve o'clock, and now at five o'clock." “You see, sir, that 's a union-made time-piece, so at twelve and five the hands stop."” Do Reformers Reform ? By CAROLYN WELLS. LL HONOR to the formers and all praise for what they accom- plish! But may they yet realize that there are fields of action waiting for them, and as yet un- touched. The anti-vivisection- ists are earnest in their endeavors and untiring in their perseverance, but is not their scope too limited? They relate sad tales of unnecessary torture to poor, dumb animals, who cannot speak their protest. But they make no mention of poor, dumb are equally without re- vegetables, who means of verbal expression. Picture to yourself a young and tender cabbage, laid helple: upon the white expanse of table in the kitchen. What unspeakable and unspoken torture must quiver through the poor cabbage, as nearer and nearer comes the glittering knife, that will pierce its very heart— its tender, quivering heart, for only the youngest and tenderest specimens are chosen for these fiendi iments, Does the too eager kitchen kni: tribute to scientific knowledge? N. is merely for the fiendish pleasure of cutting up the pale and quivering cab- bage. Again, with what glee the Fiend of the Kitchen selects a sharp-pointed, sharp-bladed knife, and, without a qualm of pity, gouges the eyes from young expe potatoes! And not imperfect or dam- aged eyes, but perfectly good orbs, the very best any poor, dumb potato ever had! Say, does it aid our oculists in their work? Does it help our opticians? Does it mean one less sufferer from ophthalmia? No! And yet the poor, dumb potato must suffer in silence! Again, are our aurists aided in their scientific investigations by the dreadful practice of cutting the ears from living corn? The dumb appeal of the poor corn is unheard, and, in response to the flashing ,knife, the ears drop into a basket with a horrid suggestion of guillotine days. Pause, reformers, reflect! If vegetables could and speak, they would beg for mercy; but they are dumb. They have not even tails to wag. And unless it can be proved that the above-men- tioned cruelties are of sci- entific benefit to the human race, we must raise our voice in protest and beg for mercy to these poor, dumb sufferers. Advice. ToRN night into day And that’s all right, So long as you don’t Turn day into night. ONEY makes some talk, and shuts others’ mouths. No Medium of Imagination There. By WILBUR D. NESBIT. M* MA sez we imagine things "Bout bein’ sick, an’ should resis So she jest sits an’ smiles an’ sings, "Cause she’s a mental scientist. She sez if we wilkonly take Some thought, ‘twill rid us of our pains— You don’t imagine stummick ache, "Cause that ain't where you keep your brains! HE POOREST way to try to check a son's wild career is to give hima checkbook. UNORNAMENTED. He sipped the nectar from her lips As under the moon they sat, And wondered if ever man before Had drunk from a mug like that. > comicbooks.com