Judge — December 31, 1910 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE'S FAVORITE. ADELE ROWLAND WITH SAM BERNARD IN “ HE CAME FROM MILWAUKEE.” AT THE CASINO THEATER. WHEN we are lured by your winsome art To pay the cash or gei the pass that’s free And watch you play upon the stage your part, We all do wish to be from Milwaukee. Mothers will tind Mrs. Winslow's Syrup the Soothing best remedy for their children. 25c a bottle. Physically Impossible. Manager—'‘My dear sir, the name of your farce is against it.”” Author—"* How 80?"" Manager—'*Now, how could we pos- sibly put ‘The Hobble Skirt’ on fora run?’’—Baltimore American. Couldn't Stand It. He—‘‘Shall we sit out this dance?"’ She- h, no; I can’t stand sitting down during a dance !’'"— Yonkers States- man. Where the Damage Was Done. “T hear you were run into by an auto- mobile yesterday, Sam?’ “*Dat’s right, . It struck me in de head, sah.”” “Not much of an accident, I suppose?’’ “Wot's dat, sah?"’ “TI say it wasn’t much of an accident; you don’t seem to be much damaged."’ “But you ought t’ see de autermobile, sah !’'— Yonkers Statesman. PACKER S TAR SOAP PURE AS THE PINcS A Yearning. I sit in my office surrounded by AS wealth, Fawned upon daily by dozens of men, | Spending my millions and losing my health, I wish I were back on the homestead i again! | Back in the open, chauffeur to a plow, + Guiding it swift through the furrows | so straight— Pipping the chickens and milking the cow And driving the hogs through the stable-yard gate! Those were the days! Happy days of my youth! Up in the morning at four and away Over the meadows with nature and truth, Walking the woodland paths day after day! Nothing to do but just cut, saw, and hoe, Milk, feed the hogs, bring in wood, plow, and prune— Spread fertilizer and go out-and sow, Weed out the garden, eat dinner at noon! | | Ah, noble callous that grew in my palm! Badge warts of labor, how proudly I toiled! Many’s the time I rubbed sassafras balm On the beautiful blisters our summer sun broiled! Noblest profession! Ye tillers of soil, Envy compels me to soulfully speal Oh, for those days of luxurious toil, When I held all the jobs for a dollar a week! —H. E. Warner, in Baltimore Sun. Ma—‘ Clifford—" Not"" CLfford—"' No cake."" Dumb Charades. Something to rhyme with “Cool.” He—'‘V'll tell you what—I'll put a lamp-shade on my head, and then go in and grin at em. Don’t you see? Fool! Rippin’ idea—what?"’ She—‘But why should you put a lamp- shade on your head?’’—London Opinion. Helped Some. Rural guest (in city, settling hotel bill)—‘'I think you ought to make some reduction on that there bill, mister.’ Hotel clerk-—‘‘Why?" Rural guest—‘‘ We didn’t use the bath- tub or the telephone, an’ Samanthy made up the bed this mornin’, besides.’’"— Detroit Free Press. Welcome the Coming Speed the Parting New Year in good old vans Ale ‘The Beverage with which to insure |\365 HAPPY DAYS All Dealers and Places ‘Seasons. LITTLE winter Now and then Is relished by The coal-yard men. —St. Louis Times, A little summer, Too, is nice; Then the coal man Can peddle ice. — Youngstown Telegram, Mexico. Oh, Mexico! Oh, Mexico! How dare you Run to riot so? —Bufalo Times, TEACHING HIS YOUNG HOPEFUL. * Clifford, will you have another piece of your birthday cake?” Pa (Impatiently)—"' No what?" There, Now! “High cost of living!"’ Get out in the country, you darn lazy town rascals, and go to work and make you a living, and quit loafing around town and asking Congress to make laws to force the hon- est farmers to feed you at half price! Get out !—Samson Ledger. Ought To Be Interesting. Dr. Wiley’s next speech will be on “*How To Tuck Babies in Their Peram- bulators."’"— Washington Post. iced Oranges with adash of Abbott's Bitters are avpetistve and bealthtal Sample by mail, 25 eta, in stamps. C. W. Abbott & Co., Balt ‘Md. in answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com