Judge, 1910-12-31 · page 13 of 27
Judge — December 31, 1910 — page 13: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several satirical pieces reflecting early 20th-century American attitudes: **"A State-ly Romance"** is a pun-based joke where state abbreviations substitute for words (Del-Miss marries Cal, lives in Ore, marries in Ark, etc.). It's wordplay rather than political commentary. **"Here and There"** satirizes British suffragettes. A British statesman admits to a American peer that he capitulated on a suffrage bill because women "would have wrecked Parliament"—implying female protesters were violent and uncontrollable. The American's suggestion to deploy photographers to disperse them mocks both nations' approaches to women's activism. **"Votes for Babies"** by Ellis Parker Butler is satirical advocacy. Writing as women's suffrage became imminent, Butler ironically argues babies deserve voting rights too, since they're "really innocent" and affected by laws on milk and artificial baby food. The satire critiques adult suffrage debates by extending the logic absurdly. **"Bridge Days"** jokes that mothers prioritize card games over childcare—a common domestic stereotype of the era. The overall tone reflects Judge's skepticism toward women's political participation and social change.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A State-ly Romance. By VANCE HE WAS a very pret- ty—Miss. Her name was—Del. His name was—Cal. She told him to ask her-- Pa, Father pronounced him—Ok. His wealth was in—-Ore. They were married in an—Ark. The number of wedding guests was— Tenn, At sight of the dinner they said—O. All of them passed their plates for- Mo. Then all went to church to attend Mass. By and by he became—Ill. She sent for an—Md. The doctor’s name was—Mont. Asked if the man could recover, he said, ‘‘He—Kan."’ Finally, in order to get food, she had to—Wash, If you don't believe this, ask—Me. It is true, I assure—U. criss. Beyond Permissibility of Doubt. Madge—‘‘How do you know that Love is blind?’’ Marjorie—‘‘He seems to get along so well in the dark."” - (ill il a Here and There. Ty E SIMPLY had to give in,” explains the British statesman to his American friend. ‘*The mob. of women would have wrecked the Parliament _ build- ings otherwise. We had to promise to consider a suffrage bill."” Why didn’t you disperse the mob?"’ asks the American CAN'T KEEP UP THE PACE. statesman. “Disperse a mob of women? My word! How?’’ “Back home we simply turn the news- paper photographers loose at them, and they stop rioting and go home for their dressy things.’” “Or Nutmeg’s"’ Sayings. OTWITHSTANDIN’ the fact thet there is a time fur ev’rything, they’s a lot uv people in the world who never hev time fur anything. LSO never puff a gift cigar in any- body else’s face. ““WHY SMITH LEFT HOME." “* Have you no home, my poor man?”* “Yes: but I got a wife in it.” Carriage dog—"' | love my master and patience is my strongest virtue ; but by the great jumping jingo! if he of his new carriage, I'll throw up my job.”’ doesn't change the motive power Votes for Babies. By ELLIS PARKER BUTLER. NOW THAT it is pretty well assured that women will vote, it is time to arouse public sentiment in favor of Votes for Babies. The awful state of our city and State governments shouts aloud for the infant suffrage. It is vain to look for purity in government until the ballot is in the hands of the really innocent. Let the babies vote! Taxation without representation is a horrid thing, and the baby demands jus- tice. How many infant property owners are paying taxes to-day and are yet re- fused the ballot! It is an outrage! Who but babies are fit to plan sumptuary legislation affecting the milk habit and matters relating to the tax on paregoric? Crushed by the cruel supremacy of male and female adult suffrage, the infant is forced to imbibe eighty-two varieties of artificial baby food, and it has no relief through the ballot. The baby and the gentle, spotted moo cow for ages walked hand in hand as consumer and producer, and if infant suffrage was granted there would be proper laws passed doing away with artificial foods and reinstating the cow in her position of supremacy. Once and for all we demand VOTES FOR BABIES! Let the babies vote! For that matter, let the cows vote. Bridge Days. REA BY, baby, in the tree top! Mother is playing bridge; she cannot stop. Wait till she wins, dear; you call, Perhaps she will take you down, cra- dle and all! then, if comicbooks.com