Judge, 1910-12-24 · page 7 of 24
Judge — December 24, 1910 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several satirical pieces typical of Judge's humor: **"Help the Tired Saleslady"** mocks wasteful Christmas gift-giving by suggesting alternatives: send money instead of trinkets, regift old junk from your attic, or give fake "gifts" like fashion plates or buttons labeled as Napoleon's coat. The satire targets both consumer excess and the burden placed on retail workers during holidays. **"The Tolstoiacs"** jokes about the pretentious intellectuals of the era who constantly discuss Leo Tolstoy. The solution: ask them to name his books—they can't, exposing their superficial posturing. **"The Price of Peace"** presents the cynical view that only those who demand rewards receive them; the humble and patient get nothing. **"Another Careless Driver"** shows a distracted motorist, likely referencing early automobile accidents caused by inattention. **"A Problem for Psychologists"** humorously asks whether magazine readers buy them for pictures of actresses or *despite* them—poking fun at both readers' motivations and psychological analysis itself. The cartoons employ Judge's typical approach: satirizing contemporary consumer culture, intellectual pretension, and modern anxieties.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Help the Tired Saleslady. How To Obviate the Neces- sity for Doing Any Shop- ping at Christmas Time. By FRANK H. WILLIAMS, Give money stead of your cus- tomary gifts. Send a fifty-cent piece to Cousin Jane, instead of that pin box cost- ing that amount and warranted to look like it was worth three dollars. Send a dollar bill to Uncle William, in place of that fussy, useless ash tray. Send the mass of junk that you received last year as Christmas presents and which has been in the attic ever since. Write letters to the persons from whom you expect presents, telling them not to send you anything this year. Tell them in- Mr. Bunny—'* What cowards these dogs are, honey! ou have started a crusade against sense- less and promiscuous Christmas present giving. Tell them you don’t intend to send them anything, and make yourself the most popular person in the town. Subscribe for several of the most popular, muck-raking magazines for your friends, and have the magazines sent to the dead- POOR ROLY POLY. Mr. Roly Poly you marry me?” Miss Parce Bisque -"* Marry you? Never! means of support for yourself. So forget it !"” “* For the last time I ask yeu, Miss Bisque, will “MONEY MAKES THE MARE Gi! letter office. Tell your friends what you have done, so they can thank you in person for remembering them and also for saving them the trouble of reading all the trash in the periodicals. Cut the buttons off some old coat of dad's, place in discarded jewel cases, and KEEPING HIS FACE, label, ‘‘From Napoleon's coat which he wore while at St. Helena.”’ The recipients will treasure these remembrances just as much as the stuff you had intended sending them. Cut the fashion plates from some woman's magazine, paste on cardboard, and label, “As you are my friend, it goes without saying that you do not look like this. Put this in your cellar, behind the coal bin, to scare the rats away."’ The Price of Peace. BS. B. RISER HE CHILD that never frets Neglected lies all day; Few are the toys it gets To while the hours away. The man kicks Nor murmurs at his task— Is he rewarded? Nix! They only get who ask. who never Why, you have no The Tolstoiacs. 66 AT LAST,” says the man with the relieved look, ‘I have found a way to stop people from talking to me about Tolstoy."” “How do you do it?’’ asks his friend. “Every other manI meet says, ‘Wasn’t Tolstoy a great writer, though?’ and all that sort of thing.”” “Tsimply ask them casually to give me the names of some of his books, so I may buy them.’’ A Problem for Psychologists. UR FRIEND, the eminent psychologist, is sitting with his head in his hands, mumbling to himself. See how I make him run!"* “How now!’’ we say. ‘‘What devious highway of thought are you traveling?’ “Oh,’’ he answers moodily, ‘I was just trying to figure out whether people buy the popular magazines because of the pictures of actresses in them or in spite of the pic- tures,’” ANOTHER CARELESS DRIVER comicbooks.com