Judge — December 3, 1910 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

SOMETHING NEW IN A HAT. The Haven (With apologies to Edgar Allan Poe.) By C. LESLIE VAN EVERY NCE upon a midnight dreary, fumbled weak and wea For the key-hole in the entrance to the cot- tage, onc While I stag; there came As of some one loudly squalling, squalling worse than any groan. is wife's mothe: loud I muttered, “ squalling worse than any groan— Only she and she alone.’ while I falling, suddenly | Closely at that key-hole blinking, long I stood | there, winking, think: Doubting, ing things, net mortals, only gods would e’er dispute, But the squalling was unbroken, harshness gave a token, Yet the only words there spoken were the shocking ones, “You Brute"— se I took in, and wife's mother echoed ack the words, “You Brute” those, then she was mute. and its hen flew the shutter, when, with a profane mutter, aped a husky woman of the kind that's seldom tame Not the least allowance made she; longer than she should have, stayed she, And with form of no small lady, pounced upon my feeble frame, Pounced upon a helpless fellow, light at head, and feeling lame— Pounced and claw'd me—‘twas a shame And wife's mother, ever sneaking, ceking, still is seeking For that same poor helpless fellow, claw'd | before that cottage door; But her search is non-prolific, tho’ as broad as the Pacific, And the sun-light o’er streaming casts a shadow as of yore; But my frame from “ Vixen's" clutches same as long before, Shall be free forever more. clutches, | | Paradoxical H, the “beautiful” snow is deceitful; The poet but moves us to scoff; ‘Tis light when it falls, but so heav When you find you must shovel it off. Utilitarian M GOING to give only useful Christmas presents this year But what do you intend giving baby?” "Why, a new pacifier and a set of safety pins. PES of great men now remind us We can do our duty here And, departing, leave behind us Footprints on the atmosphere A Flying Psalm His Generous Fault Chimers—* Poor Guvall will have 0 go to the poor house Treclams—" What has been the trouble— excessive drinking?” Chemers—" No, excessive Santa Clausing.”” still is [I OTTO of the THE LIGHT TOUCH MONARCH TYPEWRITER is made in nine distinct models, ranging in widths from 9.6 to 32.6 inches, thus covering the entire business field. Q@ You will be interested in the special features for BILLING, CARD INDEXING and LOOSE LEAF WORK THE MONARCH TYPEWRITER COMPANY Executive Offices, Monarch Typewriter Building, 300 Broadway, New York Canadian Offices, Toronto: Montreal BRANCHES AND DEALERS THROUGHOUT THE WORLD Barber's Motto WO heads (of hair) are better than one. Customs House Notice | AYY person arriving at the docks is per- mitted to clear his throat free of duty. A Breezy Joke | Turkey—"The cost of living is North East wind—"Cut ain.” } J.M. HUBER MANUFACTURER OF First rising.” ‘Sccond Turkey—" So is the cost of dying.”” Pulp Colors INKS Dry Colors F I N E LITHOGRAPHIC LETTERPRESS Main Office: 150 Worth Street 3-4-5-6 Mi in Place NEW YORK. Philadelphia 206 South Fifth Street St. Louis 113-115 Vine Street Chicago 350 Dearborn Street Boston 133 Pearl Street HUBER'S INKS USED ENTIRELY ON THIS PUBLICATION in answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com