Judge, 1910-12-03 · page 44 of 52
Judge — December 3, 1910 — page 44: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains satirical humor pieces and advertisements typical of early-20th-century Judge magazine. The content includes: **Main Features:** - Multiple short joke columns lampooning contemporary social situations (courtship, marriage, automobiles, trains) - A nostalgic poem about old-fashioned bacon, written in deliberately overwrought romantic style—satirizing both food nostalgia and the magazine's own sentimental audience - An Irish anecdote about a prisoner challenging a judge out of prejudice—poking fun at legal absurdity and Irish stereotypes **Advertisements:** - Sunny Brook Whiskey (marketed as a "healthful tonic") - 20th Century Limited train service between New York and Chicago - Moccasins and other products The satire targets middle-class American concerns: matrimonial negotiations, consumer desires (automobiles), and commercial culture. The bacon poem particularly mocks sentimental reminiscence about "the good old days"—a recurring Judge theme.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
ForSaleEverywhere A Suggestive Name “Why did you name your yacht Rumor?” “Because I wanted something about her which would be sure to keep her afloat. "— Baltimore American. Get the Axe “Did you notice that Gus gave me his first dance last evening?” “Yes, dear. He told me afterward he believed in getting disagreeable things done as soon as possible."’—New York Telegram. gendorjer Blaett PURE Whiskey Properly used, the Best and Most Healthful (onic known Accept no Substitute Modern Method “T am a candidate for your hand."’ “*But my parents have indorsed another young man.’ “All right. I'll run as an insurgent.""— Houston Chronicle. The Next Move Wife—' Dear husband, I find it quite im- possible to move in this hobble skirt. Won't you buy me an automobile ?""—Meg- Go on the Century—Don’t Write A personal interview is much more satis- factory than letter writing. important matter an Therefore, if Tequires a trip between New York and Chicago, take the 20th Century Limited “It saves a business day”’ | Oh, find me that bacon of old! | hostess proudly. How Dear How dear to my heart is the bacon of child- hood, As fond recollection brings it tomy mind! The porkers that fed in the deep-tangled wildwood On acorns and things of that sort they might find Grew sidemeat that hung in the smokehouse so gloomy Until it was sliced in the wintertime drear. Bring it to me! The bacon I'm getting to-day is so dear! The old-fashioned bacon, the country-cured bacon, The kind that was not too expensive to cook ; The salt-oozing bacon, the hick'ry-smoked bacon, The big flitch of bacon that hung on the hook. —Chicago Post. Stung “We keep our own cow,” explained the “So we're sure of our guest, setting down his cup 's stung you with a sour cow. ni rede Blade. A teaspoonful of Abbott's Bitters with your Grape Fruit, makes an ideal appetizing tonic. ple b: mail, 25 cts. in stamps. C. W. Abbott & more, Md. The Man To Challenge. Of the challenging of jurors one remem- bers a tale from Ireland. The prisoner was hard to satisfy, and juryman after juryman was asked to leave the box. However, all things come to an end, even in Ireland, and at last the swearing of the jury was com- pleted. And then the prisoner leaned over the dock and sought the ear of his solicitor. “The jury's all right now, I think,’’ he whispered; ‘‘but ye must challenge the judge. been convicted under him siv- iral times already, and maybe he’s beginnin’ to have a prejudice.'’— London Chronicle. “Next I'" “My uncle used to smoke his pipe and blow smoke rings that would float across the room and ring the doorknob.”” “My uncle,” said the other liar dreamily, “used to blow some that would ring the doorbell. '’—Tit-Bits. From Paris **So the angels have brought your mamma a new baby from heaven?” “‘Yessur, mamma's got anew baby. But I don’t fink it came f'm heaven. She gets all her fings f’m Paris.'’—Cleveland Leader. Profitable Diggs—**L understand that you encourage your son to practice on the cornet?"’ Griggs—*Yes. He's only been playing two months, but to-day I bought the house Lv. Chicago 2.30 p.m. Ar. Boston = 11.50. a.m. Ar. New York 9.25 a.m. cine endeone (MOCCASINS. For “INDOORS OR OUT” RUSSEL Lv. New York 4.00 p. m. Lv. Boston 1.30 p.m. Ar. Chicago 8.55 a.m. Equipment: Between New York and Chic ted buffet library and drawing room and compartment ob- servation cars, standard sleeping and dining cars—barber, maid, valet, manicure, stenographer, stock reports, daily’ papers and periodicals, 'and from and to Boston an_ electric-lighted sleeper, and parlor car with observation smoking room next door to me for half its value."’—Tit- Bits. Sleeping-Car Accommodations Railroad and Pullman tickets can be secured at City Ticket Office. 298 Washington St, Boston, "Phone 2140 Port Hill: 1216 Broadway, New York. ‘Phone 6310 Madison; and 180 Clare St, Chicago, "Phone 7600 Harrison. “*For the Public Service” comicbooks. com