Judge — December 3, 1910 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

NEWS ITEM EXTRAORDINARY A FAKER!! | The Children's Geographical Society Reject Proofs By ROSCOE GILMORE STOTT Santa Claus, who claims To have come from the North another Doctor Crook. (Special to Jupce) [TIS n0W probable that Santa Claus of rein-deer fame will be reduced to disgrace, if the action of Children’s Gee Society is universally accepted by the small inhabitants The Ba and the Amalgamated Association of To decision of this remar It will be remembered that Santa Claus’ Chimney descent has but the fact that the Society ta seems astounding and the 1 Phil Anthropist, one iy helieve the report you know. I America bies’ Protective League inners have already gone on record as accepting the le Society for a long time heen in question should reject the old ve world is stunned to-ds of Claus’ staunchest supporters, yet. I have back 1 Santa for so ma hope he will he speedily exonerated by Careful investi ion has been going phical Society under the stem { Wisdom, of Bost« Master Wisdom has revealed some startling facts “L have always doubted that chimney yam for one year and cleven days ran's 4 with the blov © Children’s Geo; tidance of Tho: r some time, as But scarcely six years of « We quote dircetly A large portion of the Christmases we have had no snow in and surrounding the Hub and the use of sleigh or rein-deer seemed clearly out of the question. Had Mr. Claus been clever enough to . We might still have been left in the dark Well, we met and went over his data carefully and [pros him an unqualified faker. We have found that a la! varchased in our | partments sirshi report a trip by nunc portion sor fa his goods are 4 tories the chimney that the whole trip to be utterly impossible Careful measurements made by the Society Furtherm and ilk descent: was never made. (Later special to Juve) n all over the World seem to indicate that It is said that the Society ction Messages fre of the Society was handed a gold-brick will not be credited JUDGE THERED SONGSTERS—PRE: Life is But a Game Wump— Life is a game of hit and miss." Bump—" Yes, and the miss I does most of the hitting.” married PROVED “The Child Is Father to the Man” By BLAKENEY GRAY bve's an ancient adage that I've come to sce is true. y youth I did not think so, but these days I fear 1 do, ay my children boss me when they're home from Be rd proof enough to show me the exactness of the rule. ther, stand up straighter, throw your chest out, shoulders igure on you like a hook upo: ssi your dress—that ve a noisy thing. Well that stuff may ow ms t you reading? Charley Dickens? At the worst it cannot hurt you, for his stories e chaste; But it seems a pity, father, that a fellow of your kind Should allow such futile reading to completely fill his mind, You should read your Schopenhauer, ‘and your Nietsche, and your agmagastic Law But your mind will not develop if you stick to Dickens’ stuff “When yi : cigars of yours are had They p domesti¢s, and their flavor’s pretty sad When I get my next remittance—just at present 1am broke L will send you on a package of the kind we fellows smoke. So it goes from mom to evening—how I sit, and how 1 How T eat when at the table, how I shufile when I wa Iam being educated by these youngsters straight and tall When it comes to human knowledge they appear to know it all And I live in daily terror lest by chance I may commit Some faux pas that will require that they punish me for it, For I'm sure if they should call me to the wood-shed for a’ spell There'd be trouble and who'd come out as a winner's hard to tell, For the kids have much outgrown me—they are busters every one And T must admit in muscles I'm a trifle underd And in size—well I'll confess it, and the point you'll clearly see: When d new clothes the tailor cuts down Willie's suit for met NT AND PAST comicbooks.com