Judge — November 12, 1910 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Xmas is Coming Send for Booklet Today. Durham Duplex Razor Co., 111 Fifth Ave., New York. ALWAYS e ae file TH dust Observe for Yourself — Pronounced Individuality and a Flavor more satisfy. ing than mere wordscan describe, areBlatzexclusive characteristics—so declare those who really appreciate character and quality in table beer. — MILWAUKEE — THE FINEST BEER EVER BREWED THANKSGIVING NUMBER JUDG NOVEMBER 2 19th, 1910 :: JUDGE Isn't It So? Every winter is the winter Of our discontent; We're always out of fuel And back on the rent, —Boston Herald. Goats. Country boarders—** Don’t you see, pretty maid, how we are all following you?” Pretty maid—‘Oh, yes; when I come home from the pasture, the goats do the same."’—Meggendorfer Blaetter. Not Always. A man is seldom as bad as he is painted or as good as he is whitewashed.—Boston Globe, The Limit. About the only time a man objects to be- ing overrated is when he pays his taxes. New Orleans Picayune. Long Time Coming. Real college boy (waiting for his change in department store)—‘‘This suspense is simply maddening, Esmeraldo! Hadn't you better start a tracer after my change?” Saleswoman (meanly, but sweetly)— “Just like money from home, isn't it, Archibald?’'—Drake Delphic. Barberous. A barber's remarks are always to the | Point—interrogation point. It is the bald barber who invariably has a cure for baldness. All the world knows the inner workings of a barber shop. Everybody is next some time or other, Frequently barbers have double chins, both of which are devoted to conversation. —Purple Cow. How To Succeed. The road to success? You may travel it now. Here's the method, I guess— Do the best you know how. —Detroit Free Press. A Misnomer. Mr. Closecoyne (during his wife’s recep- tion)—‘‘She gives ’em lights, she gives ‘em music, she gives ’em food, flowers, champagne—and that’s what she calls re- ceiving !’"—Tit-Bits, Farsighted. Collector—‘'I'd like to collect this note, sir. It's payable at sight.’’ Hardup—‘‘Too bad, too bad! I'm ter- ribly farsighted !'"—Philadelphia Bulletin, Where Nature Fails. Carl (in the fe: )—**Father, I can hear the cuckoo, but I cannot see any clock.’’— Jugend. Too True. People who try to impress you with their wealth usually find it difficult tc make both ends meet.—Chicago News. A Better Way. “*When women vote you'll see no money used in elections.”* “You think they will prefer trading stamps?"’— Washington Herald. Socialism. “What's parlor socialism?” asked Grayce. **Having two callers at the same time and letting each hold a hand,’’ explained Maybelle.—Louisville Courier-Journal. Busy. He—‘‘So she’s a business woman? What business is she interested in?”’ She—"Oh, every body’s."’—Chicago News. A Common Fate. “It is a terrible thing,’’ said the pris- oner, ‘‘to be known by a number instead of a name, and to feel that all my life I shall be an object of suspicion among the police.’” “But you will not be alone, my friend,”” replied the philanthropic visitor; ‘the same thing happens to people who own au- tomobiles.’’— Washington Star. A Good Business. “Ruggles, you ought to go into the busi- ness of raising chickens by hand. It’s great!’’ “T believe I would, Ramage, if I could buy a good incubator cheap.”” (With eagerness) ‘I’ve got one, old chap, I'll sell you for a third of what it cost me.’” —Chicago Tribune. Catching. Cannibal—‘‘How did our chief get that attack of hay fever?” 'Nother cannibal—*He widow.’"—Cleveland Leader. ate a grass THE BULL IN THE CHINA SHOP. s it genuine Chippendale ?"" ‘solely, sir” — at this looks like a crack right across ‘‘—— “Done by Chippendale himself, sir, in a fit of rage when he heard the union bad called the men out."’. —Lendon Punch In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated.