Judge, 1910-11-05 · page 20 of 24
Judge — November 5, 1910 — page 20: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Judge* magazine consists primarily of **advertisements** (whiskey, champagne, paper warehouse) with scattered **humorous short items** typical of the publication's satirical format. The main content piece, "What Is a Hen?," is a tongue-in-cheek poem responding to a real U.S. Court of Customs Appeals case debating whether hens qualify as "birds" for tariff purposes. The satire mocks bureaucratic absurdity by cataloging the hen's contradictory identities: a "bother" (noise), a "plague" (garden damage), a "blessing" (food), a "mint" (egg production), and ultimately "spring chicken" (aged meat). The joke exposes how official classifications depend entirely on context and economic interest rather than biological reality. The remaining items are brief jokes about domestic life, Irish accents, and class differences—standard *Judge* fare from the early 1900s. The illustration at bottom shows a terrified motorist, with the caption "Terrified rider" making a joke about automobile speed and passenger safety concerns of that era.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
such as only long aging in the wood can give. Pure, uniform ; tempting to the eye and taste. Well worth insisting upon. Distilled and Bottled in Bond by A. OVERHOLT & CO. PITTSBURGH, PA. HALF THE COST OF IMPORTED Of the Six Ameri- can Champagnes Exhibited, Great Western was the Only OneAwarded the Gold Medal at Paris Exposition, 1900. 1 Grocer or Dealer in Supply You Sold Everywhere Pleasant Valley Wine Co. Rheims, N. Y. Oldest and Largest ‘Champagne House ind LIQUID PISTOL fon the mont velons dow (ot San) sitheut pormanrat taforye Perfeetly safe to carry withoat —. faneer of leakage. Fires and ree pal IS fa the triewers Lous. trom am dealers, or by mail, $c, Rubber-covered Holster, 10c. With Pistol, $Sc. Money-order of U, S. stamps. No colns, Parker Stearns 6 Co, 24 Sheflield Ave, Dep, BrRlya, N.Y, HENRY LINDENMEYR & SONS PAPER WAREHOUSE 2, 34 and 96 Bleecker Street Branch Warehouse, 20 Beekman Street, New York ALL KINDS OF PAPER MADE TO ORDER. | | | | JUDGE What Is a Hen? [The United States Court of Custons Apreals isto rule on the question of whether or nut a hen isa bird.) What art thou? When thou wouldst sit, Or set, all firmly on thy n And when thou eacklest when we'd take A nap with no disturbing pother, ‘Thou art, we vow--and stay awake— A bother. In summer, when the garden patch Tempts thee to stroll with cluckings vague, Thou art, whene’er we see thee scratch, A plague. The ministers, however, when They eat thy offspring, served with dressing, Pronounce thee once and yet again A blessing. In winter, when we have to pay Whate’er cold-storage men may hint, Thou art, because of thy fair lay, A mint. And when old age hath ended thee, The plot once more begins to thicken: In market, then, thou art, we see, Spring chicken! —Chicago Post, Send for Bryan. Any one who has a fancy for taking up lost causes can get a pleasant job from ex-King Manuel. The Powers, we guess, will be too busy grabbing his outside territory to g themselves. much trouble restoring his crown. Montreal Herald, Two Squallers. First suburbanite—“ We've got a baby grand in our house."" Second suburbanite—-‘*We can go you one better. We've got a grand baby in ours.’’—Baltimore American. Suited to His Tast Blobbs—''I don't know what to make of that boy of mine. He's never around when he is wanted.” Slobbs—"*Why don’t you try and get him a job on the police for "—Phila- delphia Record. — NOT ALL GOLD THAT GLITTERS. Farmer (who is smoking cigar, band and all) —"'What on earth is the matter with this cigar? I like those without the gold band the better !'!— Meggendorfer Blaetter, Love and the Laundry. “The only thing I find to say against you is that your washing bill is far too extravagant. Last week you had six blouses in the wash. Why, Jane, my own daughter never sends more than two!"” “Ab, that may be, mum,’’ replied Jane, ‘‘but I ‘ave to! Your daughter's sweetheart is a bank clerk, while my young man is a chimney-sweep. It makes a difference, mum."’—Tit- Bits, A Distinction. “You were no spring chicken when I married you!"? shouted the husband. No; but I was a goose,’”’ she an- disdainfully.—Buffalo Express. He's a Financier. Three Germans had been doing an odd job of repairing and agreed to split the pay evenly. They received four dollars, and after several unsuccessful efforts of two of them to hit upon the correct divi- sion of the amount, the third settled the business transaction thus: s it two for you two, und two for me, too, Ain't id?’” REASSURING. rider (in bired motor-cat) —"'I say—I say—you're going much too fast."” r— “Ob, you're all right, sir. We always insures our passengers.""—London Punch. In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. : é comicbooks:com