Judge, 1910-10-29 · page 6 of 21
Judge — October 29, 1910 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page celebrates Judge's twenty-ninth birthday with poems praising the magazine's youthful spirit and influence. The main satirical content targets **Wall Street rumors and stock speculation**. The "Rumors" piece by Ellis O. Jones argues that stock prices depend not on actual value but on constantly circulating rumors. Traders profit from rumor-driven speculation rather than fundamental worth—a stock may be worthless but still "freely bought" if rumor says it's rising. This critiques the speculative excess and market manipulation of the era. "The Yarns of Captain Fibb" is a tall-tale comic strip about a sailor whose portrait becomes so lifelike it attacks him. It's lighthearted humor with no apparent political content. The shorter pieces offer gentle domestic humor: a mother notes her son resembles his father in his flaws; a man finds his mother-in-law increasingly "dear" (expensive) as costs rise. Overall, the page blends birthday celebration with modest social commentary on financial speculation and inflation.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
UV — A WASHERWOMAN. “Growing Younger Every Year.” By RK. MUNKITTRICK H, the Jupcr: is keeping sprightly, ‘And I know I'm thinking rightly When I say he 's growing younger every year. For he keeps all hands joy-spinning, And he keeps all hands a grinning With the grin that stretches right from ear to ear, What is man’s sphere?”” “A high-ball generally.” JUDGE To Judge On His Twenty-ninth Birthday. By JOHN KENDRICK BANGS. Now here 's to good old JupGe, as good a friend as fighter, Whose shadow strange to say, has made the whole world brighter ! May Time with health and vigor crown his merry brow, And keep him still as young a thousand years from now! Rumors. By ELLIS 0. JONES ALL STREET capitalizes Dame Rumor. Traders, bro- kers, and rumors, and the greatest of these is rumors, Without rumors, stocks would stand still, for then there would be nothing to change the price. Without a change of price, those who have stocks will not sell them and those who do not have them will not buy. Every day there must be a new deal, and Dame Rumor is the dealer. It does- n't matter at all what the price is, but only what the price is going to be. The price of a stock may be twice its value, but if Ru- mor says that the stock is going up, it will be freely bought. “ce FTER vacation, what?" asks a phi- losopher. Bills! THE YARNS OF CAPTAIN FIBB. 1, “ Talkin’ about high art, do you remember old Sorehead? Well, he wuz so sore on himself and everybody else that life wazn't wuth livin’, One day, when I wuz gradjiated from the McFudge art school, I undertook to paint his portrait. — 4. —— Jumpin’ clean outer the canvas, he makes a lunge at himself, knockin’ him off his pins. —— 2, —— Me lads, that wuz the greatest portrait I ever painted! It wuz the dead image of him, and so lifelike that Leader (disgastedly) —"* Brodwarst, you been a bum moosicker dot last cadenza you hidted your schtumick insteadt ouf der bass d-r-r-r-r-um."" How Ma Resembled Him. SePOMMY, you don't take after your father much, do you?” “No, ma’am. But, gee! you ought to see the way ma does sometimes !"" HE TROUBLE with most young men is that they learn to labor, and then wait FALSE NOTES. Dree times in Ever Dearer to Him. E KNOW a man whosays that there is no doubt that everything comes high these days. He states that even his mother- in-law is growing dearer to him with every passing hour. 3, —— bimeby it comes to life and begins to move! Then ail of a sud- dent he ketches a look at himself sit- tin’ there, and then there 's the deace 5, —— Pluck me pin feathers if that old grouch wum't so sore on himself that he mashed his own carcass —— 6. —— and then disappears in a cloud of smoke! ‘Well, I lost the work of me life: but it cured old Sorehead of the grumps.”