Judge, 1910-10-22 · page 10 of 16
Judge — October 22, 1910 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several short humorous pieces typical of early 20th-century American satirical magazines: **"Perfectly Legal"** plays on legal terminology—a couple's courtship and marriage described as property law ("lien," "conveyance"). **"Congressional Courtesy"** mocks politicians' evasiveness: a congressman avoids his wife's questions about his late night by claiming he needs to "print my remarks"—a reference to congressmen's privilege of having speeches recorded in official records, suggesting bureaucratic obstruction of personal accountability. **"The New Authority"** satirizes President Theodore Roosevelt's influence on American opinion. Rather than consulting domestic advice columns, wives now seek guidance from "Colonel Roosevelt," reflecting his contemporary celebrity and public authority on all subjects. **"Love's Language"** humorously charts romantic decline through increasingly terse letters: from "Dearest Darling Dove" to merely "Dear Lou." The remaining pieces are light wordplay and observational humor with no specific political reference.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
One Variety. by CHARLES C. JONES. This verse may not be quite as good As some which you have known before, And it may be that some folks would Not see great sport in reading o'er These poor, queer lines; but, anyway, They don’t deceive, as some must do, And by that trait you shall not say That they don’t quite appeal to you. They're not well written—oh, I know You'll find no sense in them at all, Though oft you try; but, ere they go, By this they'll surely rise or fall: Ploase view them kindly—oh, be fair! And now admit they’re on the square! Perfectly Legal. HE AND she were studying law. But he formed an attachment for her. And soon she had a lien on him. Two years elapsed— ‘And then they had a little conveyance. marcrensan FASHION BEATS THE WEATHER A Jolly Good Story. Ay JOLLY good story is told of his Maj- esty, King George, by a returned tour- ist, who picked it up on the other side. It illustrates his Majesty's quickness of speech in a remarkable manner and has been re- peated in all the clubs in London. It seems that, some years ago, before his Majesty had ascended the throne, he hon- ored acertain noble family by dining with them. The servant offered him a certain dish and his Majesty smilingly observed, “I don’t care for any of that."* JUDGE Congressional Courtesy. HE WORTHY member of Congress having reached home pret- ty late, his wife, to his surprise, is sit- ting up for him. “Now, sir,"’ she demands, ‘explain where you have been, and why, and what kept you out until this hour. “My dear," he replies suavely, “1 beg leave to print my remarks."’ TRE orphan makes a good husband, because he can- not tell his wife about the ‘‘kind that mother used to make."” “~‘ . The New Authority. 66 SUPPOSE your wife still writes to the Women’s Home Journal for advice on different questions that come up in the man- agement of your home?” asks the man with the stringy wh kers. “No, sir,” replies the man with the diffident eyebrows. “She writes to Colonel Roosevelt now."" A Difference in Puffs. i is a slight differ- ence between explo- sive powder and the powder which milady uses on her face: the former goes off witha puff, while the latter goes on with a puff. Tue early worm fills the bill. Optical Effort. “ HY ARE you strain ing your eyes so we ask of the other person. “Why?” he re torts. “*Why does anybody strain any- thing? To get the specks out, of course!" [02 many people = =— “AN ILL WIND," ETC. She—* Ob, my! we've had a terrible accident. !"" He—"* Yes, love ; but don't be scared. We got rid of the chaperon.”” Love’s Language. THREE MONTHS BEFORE THE ALTAR. Detroit, Mich., Thursday. My Dearest Darling Dove: Your own true Harry. MONTHS AFTER. Boston, Mass., Monday Eve. Dear Little Lou: Your own Harry. A YEAR LATER. Philadelphia, Pa., Sat. Dear Lou: are color-blind to danger signals when on vacations. AT THE ORGAN RECITAL. Uncle Dan—"* 1 was goin’ to buy one of them little melodions fer cousin Eli's child, but they ‘re too blamed load."’ Tr A crazy man uttered a word in praise of a woman, she'd swear he had some sense left.