Judge — October 8, 1910 — page 9: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Raven Fan. By ROSCOE GILMORE STOTT. NCE upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, sad and weary, Over many a measly error by @ team thatmademe sore, While I grunted, near- ly napping, sud- denly there came a tapping, As of some fool loudly rapping, rapping at myown front door, “Just got in, old pal,” he muttered, ‘‘and I’m mad to know the score."’ Only that and nothing more! From the Book of Bildad. ELF-POSSESSION, my son, is a good S trait even in a hired man who has leased himself to another. Beware of the human sponge. He is an absorbing person, but when it comes to a tight squeeze he runneth prematurely dry. They speak not well who tell thee that the good die young, but much wisdom lurks in the proposition that the young die good. When Opportunity hath knocked upon thy door, go thou and open unto her—aye, e’en though to do so thou must drop the hand of her with whom thou sittest in the dim light of the lampless drawing-room. When so be thou dost meet thine enemy upon the way, stretch forth thy hand and shake his therewith, for thus wilt thou re- duce his opportunity to strike by fiftyfold, and bear it well in mind, a fist in hand is worth two such upon the eye. ‘Tis hard to get a rise from rising men, my son, nor must thou seek much uplift from the constable who takes thee up. He rises not the highest who most oft goes up into the air. Let not thy rival's rising be a soar point with thee, but rather seize his coat-tails and either rise with him or hold him down with thee. Beware of short cuts. The short cut to fame leads on to naught but notoriety. If thou shalt meet a man who fears the dark, beware of him. The chances are he JUDGE hath a greater fear of light, and when investigation comes ‘twere well for thee that he and thou were not together. The difference between discre- tion and mere caution is that dis- cretion hath always running shoes upon its feet, whereas old caution goes about in soles of gum. If one shall say to thee that there is plenty of room at the top, answer him that as for hair the adage may be true, but otherwise false. There's fonly room for one at the real top. That distance lends enchant- ment to the view is proved by the fact that the most ant views are those that are simply ‘‘out of sight.” Some crimes there are for which no sentence is just punish- ment; wherefore, if one offend thee past all endurance or repair, sentence not, but take thy pen in hand and paragraph him. Love may be blind, as some do say, my son; but, none the less, he’s quick to see his opportunity, and few there be who can hope to lead him whither he has no mind to go. The confirmed borrower may lack delicacy of perception, but he seldom if ever loses his sense of touch; wherefore, oh, my son, pass by upon the other side when he appears, lest he prove tangent to thy purse. Let no man place thee on a pedestal, for there doth lie much risk in standing on the same. The safest pedestal for thee, as for all men, is on thine own firm feet, Vex not thy spirit for that one hath criticised thee, for criticism is but the poul- tice that truth uses to reduce swollen heads to normal, Fitts the bill—microbes on a soiled V. SOFTENING UP THE TEAM TO CONFORM TO THE NEW FOOTBALL RULES. SMILE_IF You WIN~ © eolF YOU LOSE— The Parting. By CHARLES C, JONES. HE STOOD beside the open door And watched him down the street. A tear or two she swept aside, Then shortly laid her down and cri In misery complete. It was no quarrel bade them part, Nor court's divoreing rule. With all his nice, new clothes put on, Her little six-year-old had gone To his first day at school! A Good Combination. BeEs!Pes knowing how to play rag-time in the parlor, a young lady should know something about dishrag-time in the kitchen. DISON’S road to fortune was paved with good inventions. comicbooks.com