Judge — October 8, 1910 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE Shakespeare Reformed. By WILLIAM J. BURTSCHER, Tr THERE are lambs in Wall Street, pre- pare to shear them now. One touch of Roosevelt makes the whole world a kinder garden. A horse! a horse! my Latin with a horse! Crabbed age and youth cannot live to- wuz gether long without thoughts of Reno. Something is rotten in the State of Dol- larmark, He jests at auto cars that never owned THE NEW AGENT. ene “No, madam, I am not a book-ageat ; but I thought per- : | haps you would like to insure that fine setting of eggs!" The apparel of the woman oft proclaims the man that pays the bill. F Still runs the thought when the hock is Just Like a Man. deep. 66] PID Hardiucke bear his misfortune The King’s English, the President's like a man?” American, and Everybody's Esperanto. actly like one. He blamed it all on his wife.” Read Between the Lines. WEATHER INDICATIONS. (By reading every other word.) No Dark Secret. Fair and cold, with warmer wave impending. OSES line are line red line, 'E KNOW what the grafter is after— And line violets line are line blue line; It’s plain as the face on a tub. Tomfoolery. This line verse line is line curious line, The fact is proclaimed from the rafter; And line so line are line you line. But proving it—there is the rub! By ROSCOK GILMORE STOTT. HE STUFF I send to thee, dear June, Looks like a string of jokes —to me; I hope you really like my rather amart Tomfoolery, tomfoolery! To soothe my starving appe- tit I slip unto And have a bite With memories of bygone jokes That you have taken long before, I mail each one, and pray, as mailing it, HE EVOLUTION OF HORUS GIRL. That you'll take more, dear Jupcr, that THE SYOLUTIO! A SE you'll take more! \ . “Speak for Yourself, John.” Over the Telephone. Tommy’s Query. Craggs—‘‘ 1 wish I had a dollar for every New Orleans—* Good-mornin’, suh, good- Tommy—* May I ask a question, papa?’’ one who spoke to me to-day."" mornin’. Glorious mornin’, isn't it? This Father—* Certainly, my son."” Jaggs—* Why not for yourself 2° is suhtainly a pleasant surprise. It is, in- Tommy— Well, when the President of . deed! How ahre y'u, anyway? The best of the United States goes into office does he JRE SURE the sin of gambling will find the mornin’ to yu, How's the family?" tuke out letters of administration?” you out—of money. St. Louis— Guten morgen. Great morn- ing, ain‘dt it? How's pissness?”” Boston—* Ab, good-morning to you, my friend. It is sweetly pleasant to hear your voice over the telephone again. I hope you find yourself well.” Chicago—" Why, hello, there, old sport! What got you out of the straw so early this pleasant a. m.2”” Milwaukee—“ Hello! Glad to see you. Come over and we'll have one together. New York—‘ Hullo! Whatcha want? All the Sights at Low Cost. “ce Tre Newlyweds took a fine wedding- trip.”” “Where did they go?” “ Why, right after the ceremony they went to their new home, shut themselves away from friends for a week, and gave them- selves up to the delights of Seeing Niagara Falls by a Picture Post-cards tour. Serious Losses. D_ SMITHERS'S losses caused di: That made him sad and mirthles: But though his loss made him worth less, It didn't make him worthless. STREET-CAR STRIKE IN BUGVILLE. VEN the college professor seldom dis- Excited Bugs— Hang it all, fellows, the jig's up! Call off the strike. They "ve ordered out the troops."” agrees with a pretty woman,