Judge — October 8, 1910 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

In the Future. By BLANCHE BLIZABETH WADE EAR father, what is that queer thing I see so far below?"" “That is the Earth, my little child, Where I' was born, you know."” “And is the Earth inhabited By any mortals now?”” “A few remain, my child, I think, Who still pursue the plow. “We'll fly down there some day to see That planet out of date; But get your books together, dear, "Tis nearly half-past eight. “I think I hear the school-bell ring, So now flit off to Mars, And do be sure you linger not To play among the stars!"" JUDGE Generalities.* ENERALITIES are phrases which have meant something for so long a time that the stating of them now means nothing. Familiarity breeds generalities, and they are of one variety only—the glittering. It is essential that they glitter; otherwise they fall outside the category. Various folk use generalities for various reasons. Some use them when they have exhausted the subject, not knowing when to stop, and some when everything pertinent has been said by others; some because it is so fatiguing to acquire opinions of their own, and some to hide their real opinions. Only the latter class attain the glittering stage, the others being merely inane mouth- ers of phrases. “HURRY, BILL, 1 THINK 1 SEE A CHERRY,” The Unanswerable. By CHARLES €. JONES The old world whirls through each long year we watch our lives go by. ‘Though we are bound to labor here we never will see why! Daffynitions. EIGHING machine (automatic) -~A con- OUT OF SIGHT. “* Well, gentlemen, what do you think of the grand canyon ?"” “ Well, if you could only cover it over it would be greater than the Brooklyn tunnel.’” Rewards Never Offered. TEN DOLLARS for every returning tour- ist who tries to get in without smug- gling. ‘Twenty-five dollars for burglar who will break into brick house on outer Main Street and carry away an old violin. Call next door for reward. Fifty dollars for any politician who can deliver address on Chautauqua circuit or elsewhere without employing the pronoun One thousand dollars for every husband who didn’t want his wife to shorten her vacation—or prolong it. When Women Have Suffrage. Suffragette—"*What do you mean by say- ing in your paper that I had beer: arrested once before?"" Edlitor—*Why, madam, we thought we would make it as easy as possible,"" Suffragette—" Well, sir, I'll have you to understand that I have been arrested five times, have broken two policemen’s noses, and have served thirty days in jail. You men are so envious that you won't give a poor woman a chance to get to the front!"” 10 MAKE the hours go faster, use the “spur of the moment.”* The public at large does not so much insist on new ideas, having a penchant for the old, but it does demand that the old be wrapped in “Old Glory," ‘Let well enough alone,”’ ete. To make generalities at- tractive and popular takes a man of many words, unlimit- ed imagination, infinite va- riety, and an exaggerated ego. Of such are many of the politicians who are once again busily engaged in sav- ing our country. Give us what we want, or think we want. On with the generalities! Let glit- tering be unconfined! * NoTe—These are such, Works Both Ways. HE MAN who knows how to work his way through college for an edu- cation won't have any trouble afterward work- ing his way through the world with an educa- tion. trivance which gives pounds for pennies, Wrappers—Smoking jackets. X—What most of us haven't with us, es. pecially when a friend asks for it. CLOSE FRIENDS. “ Why do you ery, Jerry ?”’ “* Casey wouldn't lend me five dollars."’ “* And I thought he was your closest friend.'" “* He never was so close as that before.” comicbooks.com